Do you want to emigrate as a couple? These are the seven essential questions to ask yourself before taking the plunge

As many know or at least imagine, migrating, alone with a partner, facing a new culture, language and customs is usually a challenge, but there are not a few couples who bet on their luck on a test in another way. parts of the world balloon.

So, what are some of the questions both people should be asking themselves before deciding to immigrate as a couple?

Sebastián Girona, a psychologist specializing in relationships who immigrated to Spain with his family several years ago, not only experienced this firsthand, but also told Clarín that some of his patients experienced the same thing.

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There are many questions that arise when emigrating as a couple, as feelings and personalities and their decisions are ultimately individual. They are only subject to a pact or agreement to be together through thick and thin. The latter is the real test.

As a guideline, the psychologist suggests asking these questions in advance, both individually and as a couple.

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Seven essential questions to ask yourself before immigrating as a couple

1. How solid is the couple?

“One of the first things is to ask ourselves how solid the couple is, if we’ve known each other for 6 months, 5 years, if we’ve been through several crises. Look at the foundations of the relationship, because we’re going to need them,” explains Girona.

2. What is the “why” of each?

Both must identify their individual goals in addition to the common life project. They don’t have to be identical, but asking yourself “why am I migrating with my partner” and agreeing on some goals can help reinforce common goals as you take that step.

3. Do we know how to deal with realistic expectations about what lies ahead?

Emigrating implies profound changes as challenging and according to the reasons why every person has to leave their country of origin, maintaining enthusiasm and drive with a realistic outlook is one of the keys.

That’s why it’s important to work on patience with small victories in the beginning, such as equipping yourself with things and situations that you need to overcome in order to properly manage expectations.

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4. Are we leaving on an equal footing?

One of the highlights the writer highlights is the opportunity to discuss whether both members of the couple leave on an equal footing, without sacrificing their autonomy or the goals he referred to earlier.

The most appropriate scenario for both adults is “to be able to replicate the equation and the healthy dynamics that we had in our country.” And what happens if only one of the people with a guaranteed job goes?

“If I leave work and my partner doesn’t, I have to worry about that too. It’s a fundamental reason for the couple that they both have things to do, it’s healthy for the relationship and avoids conflicts, frustrations and that the person she is unemployed, she becomes very dependent,” he says.

5. Can we see this as an adventure?

There are very complex cases that need to be looked at individually and I don’t think we can generalize for that very reason.

But the logic is this: Since no one can say that they will live in a place forever, even if they have that desire and may stay for 10 years, 20 years or all their lives, one strategy that can be useful is to think “we’re going to try your luck.”

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That is, applying a strategy that serves to dedramatize difficult situations, which helps to keep calm.

6. What is the place that offers us the most opportunities?

Weighing up different destinations is one of the steps inherent in the decision to emigrate. Exploring those countries that offer more job opportunities, the regularization of legal status and a higher quality of life is one of the questions the couple should ask themselves.

7. Can we agree on how we want to host our family and friends?

The couple who have settled in a place and have some stability, receive family and friends for a while or because they want to emigrate can be a source of disagreement if left undiscussed.

It is advisable to talk and agree on what that reception would look like. The key is to reconcile and express what times we feel comfortable hosting others. But it should always mediate the dialogue and not impose it.

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In summary, the challenge of migrating as a couple can not only increase individual resilience, it can be a challenge that makes the couple stronger as they mature and cohesive.

Communication with your partner is important because you are entering a completely new place, with new people, and feel that support is vital.