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On Valentine’s Day: the romanticism that some question

“Love needs a lot of skill, as well as enthusiasm”, the writer said Alain deBotton in an interview on YouTube. My first contact with him was not because of the novel that motivated that interview, but because of a very special self-help essay-manual: How Proust can change our lives. Very few people I know – myself included – have been able to immerse themselves in all seven volumes of In Search of Lost Time, by Marcel Proust. But Alain saved me with his little book where he introduces us to the wisdom of a genius of letters and his invaluable legacy.

This time from Botton brings the fatigue of love, a novel about a couple in which a very unusual vision of married life is discovered, because that fatigue of which he speaks is not connected with the cooling of a relationship, but with the responsibilities that we must assume when uniting “forever”. And he doesn’t deny that possibility, Rather, it strengthens that dynamic that he took from Proust and inspired something in this book, along perhaps with other of his great influences: Freud and Montaigne.

And we return to the meaning of that ability to maintain the dreamed marital stability. It is a constant work, every day, every night. And beware: romanticism is not key. For Alain de Botton, what is crucial is not romantic passion, but rather that open and tolerant attitude towards the other in an endless journey that we often do not know: life between two and the treasure of sharing brief happy moments. (OR)

Source: Eluniverso

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