People who feel they are making less progress in life than their peers are driven by a deep fear of criticism rather than a lack of personal capability, psychology experts say.
The feeling frequently arises when individuals browse social networks and observe acquaintances buying their first apartments, securing workplace promotions, or enrolling in postgraduate programs abroad. While people may experience temporary joy for their acquaintances, that reaction quickly gives way to self-comparison and anxiety over unfulfilled short- and medium-term goals.
Mental health researchers note that social media platforms often amplify upward comparison by exposing users to curated highlights of others' lives, triggering feelings of inadequacy.
Childhood roots of comparison
According to Rincón de la Psicología, a Spanish-language psychology portal that analyzes behavioral patterns, this habit of constant comparison often begins in childhood. Parents and teachers frequently compare children with higher-achieving classmates to encourage academic or athletic performance, but the approach usually generates lasting internal pressure instead.
As individuals mature into adulthood, they remain overly attentive to the accomplishments of those around them. Analysts at the website explained that this creates an exhausting and unfair dynamic, leaving individuals convinced that their own milestones will never surprise or impress their close circle of family and friends.
Procrastination and fear of failure
Psychologist Mario Guerra, a Mexican psychotherapist and author who specializes in emotional health, stated that people accustomed to this mindset exhibit low decisiveness when planning new endeavors. He observed that such individuals frequently procrastinate or invent excuses whenever they consider attempting something new.
Guerra added that a strong fear of criticism causes individuals to imagine detailed future scenarios in which they fail to match the success of their peers. Faced with these imagined failures, people become demoralized and abandon their plans before making an attempt.
Internal wounds and low self-esteem
In an interview with Vogue, the international fashion and lifestyle magazine that frequently covers mental wellness, psychologist Sofía Reguillos explained that the perception of lagging behind peers stems from unhealed internal wounds. Reguillos, a specialist in emotional regulation and self-esteem, identified these wounds as persistent beliefs of not being good enough or not deserving success.
She added that in basic psychological terms, these feelings are a direct reflection of low self-esteem.
Moving at an individual pace
Despite the negative impacts of social comparison, psychologists emphasize that comparing oneself to others is not inherently harmful if it provides motivation to achieve personal targets.
Mental health experts conclude that every person progresses at their own individual pace, though achieving long-term goals still demands active effort and perseverance.
