Times are changing, and the division of responsibilities at home is also changing. In the past, a man went to work and a woman’s job was to take care of the house. Nowadays, both of them usually decide to develop their careers, and both of them – relatively equally – take care of issues such as dinner, shopping, and cleaning. And this is not always met with favorable views from our parents and grandparents. What do they think about today’s division of responsibilities? We asked several people about it.
“Grandma blamed me for not making my husband sandwiches for work”
It turns out that a common problem for many people is the issue of food preparation. Traditionally, it is the woman’s domain, just like everything else related to the home. For some grandmothers and grandfathers, it is simply unimaginable for a man to take care of this.
– Grandpa had everything served to him, there always had to be the same fork on the table, his favorite. When grandma gave me another one because the other one was dirty, she had to wash it and replace it, Asia said. – They both couldn’t come to terms with the fact that they saw my husband making food for himself. Grandma actually blamed me for not making him breakfast or sandwiches for work. Where we both work the same. This is the norm for us. It’s no disgrace to a guy who cooks, vacuums or washes windows.
Times are changing, and the division of responsibilities at home is also changing. In the past, a man went to work and a woman’s job was to take care of the house. photo: National Digital Archives
After 10 years, my mother still cannot come to terms with the fact that my husband cooks in our house. She is very embarrassed by this and constantly explains to her in-laws during family dinners that Iwona “also did something there.” It is no longer possible to explain to this generation that this arrangement is also ok
– said Iwona in turn.
– I could write a book about it – Monika laughed. – I keep hearing that a wife has to cook, clean, wash and iron! Of course, grandma is not very possessive, but she simply emphasizes that this is how it should be in every marriage. Whenever there’s a family party, grandma has to say to my husband: “So, how’s Monika cooking for you?” And when I say that he could also handle the pots, grandma says that the kitchen is my kingdom.
“When I go somewhere alone, my grandma asks: ‘Your husband is letting you go?'”
However, so that it is not so one-sided, there are also certain expectations towards men. Traditionally, they were the ones who dealt with technical issues, repairs and the car. – According to my grandparents, it’s not appropriate for a wife to drive in a dirty car. The husband should always take care of him, said Monika. In turn, Justyna shared her friends’ story:
In my friend’s marriage, she is the one who nails and goes for car inspections because her husband simply doesn’t know anything about it. He cooks, etc. His parents have a big problem with it and, best of all, they think it’s his daughter-in-law’s fault for dominating him so much and “lowering” him to the role of a “housewife”.
Going to a restaurant is associated with an unwritten rule, the breaking of which reflects poorly not only on the man, but also on the woman. photo: National Digital Archives
Issues unrelated to home can also be problematic for our grandparents. In their eyes, going to a restaurant is associated with an unwritten rule, the breaking of which reflects poorly not only on the man, but also on the woman. Iza, who has had several arguments with her grandmother, knows this. She often heard from her:
What happened today… Splitting the bill? A woman paying for a man? Who saw it! In my time this was unthinkable. This is how men showed their efforts, and if they couldn’t afford a date at a restaurant, they came up with something else to impress the woman they were trying to marry.
And God forbid, if a woman goes to a restaurant or on a trip without her husband. One, it looks bad, and two, we should ask them for permission. Monika knows this problem very well: – Traveling alone is out of the question, because what does her husband say: “Did he let you do that?” – she said. It’s the same with Ewelina: – When I go somewhere alone, my grandmother asks: “Is your husband letting you go?”
And what does it look like for you? Do you often hear such texts from your parents and grandparents? Or maybe you just have a traditional division of responsibilities, in line with their expectations? Let us know in the comments.
Source: Gazeta
Bruce is a talented author and journalist with a passion for entertainment . He currently works as a writer at the 247 News Agency, where he has established himself as a respected voice in the industry.
