How Can I Deal With Stress? It is worth learning a basis that is not mentioned in many guides

Natalia Kondratiuk-Świerubska: Why is the topic of coping with stress so popular now?

Daria Turowska-Makoś: In recent months, we had to find ourselves in a completely new situation. Many changes have occurred in our day-to-day functioning through a pandemic, and these are usually mentally difficult. Plus, we now have more time to ourselves and we’ve finally started to notice this stress. And we want to deal with it somehow.

When we live in chronic stress, do we stop noticing it?

Before the pandemic, many people lived in constant rush, and their stress levels were very high at all times. In turn, the period of home isolation in many cases meant that they finally began to feel the side effects of this constant tension.

Daria Turowska-Makoś private archive

We can find many online stress guides. Do you think they are helpful?

Unfortunately, I notice many shortcomings in them. I am surprised, first of all, that there is no necessary basis in them. They talk primarily about sports, relaxation, and a proper diet. However, there is nothing there about how to specifically deal with stress and how to learn to rest your mind.

Why is it so important?

If we play sports or relax, and in our minds continue to analyze our problem, this is not real rest. It even increases the stress.

So what can we do to make relaxation effective?

It is worth finding the deeper causes of stress. No sport or diet will help us in the long run if we do not know its source. For this, we can keep a stress diary. However, if finding the cause on your own is too difficult for us, it is worth using the help of a specialist (psychotherapist, psychologist or coach).

In addition, we must become familiar with our stress, because it is a very individual matter, it has a different basis for everyone. Let us observe the thoughts that arise in us at this time, the internal conversation we have: are we digging up at this time, are we supportive of ourselves? Would we say something like that to our best friend?

It seems to me that the aforementioned model of running life is very stressful.

I agree with it. I found out about it while studying and working in Denmark. There is a completely different approach than in Poland to many issues related to recreation and career. In Denmark, it is common knowledge that we need time to recover after work because it makes us more focused and more productive.

With us, this approach is not yet popular.

For a long time in Poland a kind of “dedication to work” ideal was imposed, according to which one should work overtime. As a result, many people stopped listening to their needs, because such an approach is highly appreciated by many companies.

And if someone doesn’t, he may feel lazy.

And it is very harmful. Instead of taking care of our needs and building satisfaction with our work, we often feel remorse. A vicious circle arises. On the one hand, we are concerned that we spend too little time with family and friends. On the other hand, we work too little. Scandinavian countries have developed a completely different model, in which the balance between different spheres of life is very important. There, staying after hours is associated with a lack of productivity.

It reminded me of a certain situation that happened to someone close to me. My friend had some success, and it was quite a surprise in her company. Reason? She is one of the few who finishes work after eight hours.

I will give my example from my work in Denmark. At the beginning of my career in this country, I worked longer than others to show that I was ambitious and committed. One day my boss asked if I was okay because it was strange for him that I stayed at work after hours. He also wondered if I was productive in such a model. It was very surprising in the context of what I had met earlier in Poland.

Daria Turowska-Makoś is a mindfulness practitioner, stress coach and life coach certified in Denmark in NLP huset and in The Academy of Modern, Applied Psychology in Scotland. He specializes at the Nickerson Institute in working with highly sensitive people and has been studying music therapy at the Academy of Music in Łódź for a year. She is the author of “Diary of stress and balance”. She studied at the Business Academy in Aarhus and Randers, worked in Denmark in business incl. as a coach. In Denmark, she also ran a non-profit organization integrating ProPace through music, she was also the initiator and manager of the Fall in Love with Poland campaign – promoting Poland in Denmark. She has recently returned to Poland and is fully devoted to coaching and therapeutic work – she gives sessions of the therapeutic voice method (mindful singing).

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