International best-selling author Jane Green has warned a woman against taking unprescribed ADHD medication to improve her focus at work, revealing that her own use of stimulants led to enormous health issues.
The agony aunt advised the reader, who had been put on a performance plan and offered pills by friends, to consult a professional rather than self-medicate.
Green wrote that she was diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder around 20 years ago and was prescribed too high a dose. She said she initially felt "wonderful, calm, focused" and was able to achieve more in a day than she ever had, but eventually stopped sleeping and became "speedy".
The author said she became over-stimulated, which led to health issues that caused her to stop taking the medication, though she noted she still misses those early days of calm.
The reader, writing under the name Last Resort, said she had moments of being incredibly focused but more often worked at a "snail's pace", causing her work to slip. She said she had tried getting more sleep, drinking more coffee and wearing noise-cancelling headphones without success, adding that her mind always felt like it was somewhere else.
Medication offer
During a recent dinner, the reader's friends revealed they were taking ADHD medications including Ritalin, Vyvanse and Adderall in low doses to maintain focus. One friend gave the reader a pill to take at work, saying it would "change my life".
The reader said she thanked her friend, put the pill in her purse and thought about it on her way home. She expressed concern about relying on medication to excel and the potential impact on her marriage.
She said an internet search indicated the drugs could have "devastating effects on people's relationships" by changing personalities and moods, which she described as "sickening". She said she desperately wanted to do better at her job and wondered if the risk was worth it.
Specialist assessment
Green suggested the reader find an ADHD specialist for a full assessment, start slowly and keep a journal to assess issues as they arise.
She said the wrong dosage could have devastating effects, but that the right dose prescribed by a physician should not affect a patient's personal life. She advised the reader that her dosage or medication should be adjusted if it does begin to impact her relationships.
The author noted that she had lost count of the number of women newly diagnosed with the condition, which she suggested could be linked to reduced attention spans from technology and social media use and a habit of "flicking, scrolling, never fully immersing ourselves in anything".
Destroyed quilt
In a separate letter, Green advised a woman whose dog destroyed her boyfriend's late grandmother's quilt to tell him the truth face-to-face when he returns home, telling her to put her "big girl pants on".
The reader, Ruff Situation, described herself as "the worst girlfriend". She said she had brought her dog to her boyfriend's apartment for a few minutes while checking his plants. She said she turned her back for a second, during which time the dog jumped on the sofa and tore an unrepairable hole in the quilt.
The woman said she scolded the dog right away but was distraught as it was the first time her boyfriend had entrusted her with the responsibility.
She said she panicked, folded the blanket to hide the damage and left the apartment. She said she lied to her boyfriend via text to buy time, expressing fear that he would never trust her or the dog again and asking if she could act like she did not know what happened.
Relationship secrets
Green told the woman not to take the quilt for repair, warning that secrets suck the "oxygen and honesty" from a relationship and grow bigger each day. She said the secret would stop the woman from ever being able to relax.
She told the reader that the incident was neither her fault nor her intention, and that the secret was what caused her shame.
Green said the dog was not an "evil creature" who deliberately ruined something important, and that the tear did not make the quilt less meaningful or less filled with memories and love. She added that the boyfriend would understand if he was the right man for her.
