In the Netherlands, euthanasia for couples as a last gesture of love

They left at the same time, holding hands: Bert Keizer, a 77-year-old Dutch doctor, performed more than a hundred euthanasias, but this one moved him in a special way, since it was a couple of women, whom he helped to die.

Monique, 74, suffered from dementia, and Loes, 88, from a muscle disease. They were dependent on each other to live autonomously and, after 50 years together, they could not conceive of life without each other.

The doctor described “the last scene”.

“They were both lying down, holding hands, with an IV in one arm and a doctor sitting next to them.”Keizer told AFP.

“They kiss, say ‘thank you’ and ‘I love you’. We look at each other and say, ‘Girls, are you ready?’ ‘Yes, go ahead,’ they reply.”.

“The medication, a barbiturate, is injected and they fall asleep immediately.”, adds the doctor.

“I was nervous because we wanted them to lose consciousness at the same time, we didn’t want one to see the other dead.”, he emphasizes.

That happened in December 2019. Monique and Loes resorted to a “duo-euthanasia”, which allows couples to die at the same time.

“One went into dementia, the other lost her legs, they said, two wonderful women, very nice.”continues Keizer, a retired geriatrician who still accompanies patients who wish to resort to euthanasia.

The Netherlands and Belgium They were the first two European countries to authorize euthanasia, that is, death caused at the request of a sick person.

In the Netherlands, this medical gesture has been strictly framed since April 1, 2002. The law provides that the doctor and an independent expert determine that the patient is in unbearable suffering without hope of improvement.

It must also be established that the demand for euthanasia has been reflected with maturity, that it is voluntary and that there is no other “realistic option”.

“Emotionally difficult”

In the case of a “duo-euthanasia”, these conditions apply to both people, whose claims are evaluated separately by different doctors. The cases remain very rare.

“Of course it is unique that two parallel lives meet all the conditions at exactly the right time.”says Keizer, who has performed about 140 euthanasias in his career, two of them on couples.

Every year more people resort to euthanasia in the Netherlands. In 2022 there were 8,720, 5.1% of the deaths that year, according to official data. Most of them suffered from terminal cancer.

Among those people, there were 29 couples. Although it is still low, the number of duo-euthanasias is on the rise: in 2018 there were 9 and in 2021 they reached 16.

In February, former Prime Minister Dries Van Agt and his wife ended their days together after 70 years of living together.

“The way the Van Agts died is a wonderful example of dying with dignity, maintaining control”, declared the pro-euthanasia association NVVE.

Monique and Loes died together after receiving authorization from the medical teams treating them.

“It was emotionally difficult because they were lovely people, but also determined”says Bert Keizer.

Monique was aware of her dementia, which is rare. ““Most people affected by dementia do not realize how serious the disease is,” Add. But she saw what dementia did to her father and she didn’t want to end up like him.

Both, with short hair and glasses, were the subject of a televised documentary before their euthanasia. “I don’t want to live without Monique”Loes said in those images. “and I depend on you“Monique told him.

“We will then leave together“, they concluded.