“It’s really cool that part of us comes from another country”: British twins born from Colombian donor who can now know who their father is

People born in Great Britain from a donated egg or sperm and who turn 18 after October 1 can find out the identity of the donor thanks to a change in the law.

Matthew and Phoebe Betts have known since they were two years old that they were conceived thanks to a sperm donor.

The twin brothers, now 16 years old, have spent their lives wondering who that person could be.

When they turn 18 next year, they can request to know their name and surname if they want to know where they come from.

For now, they know the physical constitution of their biological father, the color of his eyes and hair and some of his hobbies, such as photography, swimming and guitar. They also know that he has a master’s degree in business administration.

So far, the twins have been able to ask Britain’s fertility regulator for some basic details about their donor.

Her parents had used sperm from a British clinic to get pregnant, so It came as a surprise to them when they discovered that the donor was Colombian.

Their new South American heritage is something the twins, who hail from Mansfield, Nottinghamshire (about 140 miles north of London), have welcomed.

Since, Phoebe, a dance enthusiast, has been researching Colombian dances and cooking recipes. He also thinks this explains why he has curly hair.

“Is very cool that part of us comes from another country,” he said.

Matthew and Phoebe are part of a group of people who, like me, were conceived through donation. I interviewed them a new BBC documentary, My sperm donor and I (My sperm donor and I).

More than 70,000 donor-conceived children have been born in Britain since 1991. In 2005, a law came into effect that, from this date, abolished the anonymity of anyone who donated sperm, eggs or embryos.

The first group of donor-conceived young people affected by this change will turn 18 on October 1. At that point, they can find “identifying information” about the donor, their name, last known address, place and date of birth.

Matthew and Phoebe’s parents, Sarah and Shaun, specifically waited until the law changed in 2005 to start fertility treatment so that their children could access this information in due course.

“We just felt like it wouldn’t be fair to kids if we denied them that opportunity,” Sarah explained.

The twins grew up knowing the facts about how they were conceived. “It’s just something we always talk about,” Phoebe said.

Matthew and Phoebe also hope to track down and reunite some of their ten half-siblings.who are known to have been born from their sperm donor between 2006 and 2008.

“We know we have half-siblings because a record has been kept,” says Shaun.

Alternative to meet your donor

By the end of 2024, around 766 young people will be old enough to request identifiable information about their donors from the UK fertility regulator. By 2030, this number will rise to almost 11,500.

For donor-conceived people like me, this is great news.

However, they are also bittersweet, because Those of us born before 2005 will not be able to benefit from the change in the law.

If we wanted to find our donors – and I understand not all of them would – Our only hope would be to enter the information we get from a homemade DNA kit into the Internet. and fingers crossed to see if our donors have done the same.

We can also ask the regulator, the Human Fertilization and Embryology Authority (HFEA), whether the donor has voluntarily requested his anonymity be lifted.

The story of my sperm donor

I was 17, pregnant and living in South Wales with my father, Dereck, when he sat me down one evening to tell me that he and my mother had used a sperm donor to have me.

That night I went to bed crying, not knowing what to think or what to do with the information..

There was no more. We never talked about it again in my house until eight years later when we both decided to broach the subject again. We even discussed it in a television documentary.

But it all fell apart when my father, who was everything in my world, was diagnosed with lung cancer and died at the age of 68.

I was devastated, but his death in 2022 also took away a small fear. I always felt guilty about wanting to know more about what I saw as the missing other half of my family..

Now I don’t feel that way anymore, and I know my father would be very proud of the journey I have been on.

One of the best experiences I had with My Sperm Donor and I finally found a sister through donation. We found a match through a site Web DNA research and we clicked immediately.

Ria and I met in a pub in my home town of Cardiff. It was as if we had always known each other.

She is 28 years old, she is an engineer and she has a dog. Our birthdays were two weeks apart and we both grew up just 20 minutes away from each other in South Wales.

Ria certainly filled in that missing piece of my puzzle..

Matthew and Phoebe hope that learning about their donor will do the same for them.

It is something his parents also support.

“We have two great kids,” Shaun said. “Our lives have been changed because of that person’s kindness, so it will be nice to be able to shake their hand and say ‘thank you’.” (JO)

*Tink Llewellyn presents the documentary My Sperm Donor and Me, which airs on BBC channels.