Explaining the news of crime crime and disasters to children

They do not need to watch the news or read the newspapers. Children find out what is happening in the world through social networks, notifications that jump as soon as they open the internet search engine, the friends or the conversations that the adults have without thinking that the little ones, when they want, listen to it and remember everything.

Sometimes the news is encouraging, when they talk about things that matter to them, like school, nature, or some sports. Other times, things take on a darker and more threatening tint, and children may worry about current events and need an adult to help them understand what is happening.

The American Academy of Pediatrics suggests that you help your child understand the news and feel more at ease by following these steps.

Start by finding out what your child knows

Ask your children questions to see if they are aware of what is happening. For school-age children and teenagers, you can ask what have they heard at school or on social media.

Observe your child’s interest. If you don’t seem interested in an event or don’t want to talk about it just yet, don’t push it.

Answer their questions honestly and briefly

Do not leave questions unanswered. If you close, he and she will look elsewhere for answers. Tell the truth, but only talk about the things your child needs to know. Try to calm your fears and help your child feel safe. Do not give him more details than he asks for.

Listen to your child carefully. Some children, hearing of a disturbing event or natural disaster, may worry and wonder: “Could I be next? Could that happen to me? Older children, especially, may have many questions, and be seriously concerned that their parents or loved ones will go out and be in danger on the street. Focus on your children’s questions so you can help them cope with their fears. The fact that an adult is willing to listen to them will convey a powerful message to them.

It’s okay to say you don’t know the answer. If your child asks a question that puzzles you, tell him that you will find out. OR use age-appropriate websites to spend time together searching for an answer.

Help your child regain a sense of control

Encourage children to talk about what is bothering them. If they are afraid of what is happening, ask them about their fears. Even when kids can’t control something, like heat waves, floods, or mudslides, talking about their fears can help them.

Encourage teens to look beyond the news. Ask them why they think a news outlet, formal or informal, presents a scary or disturbing story. Is it to increase the audience and clicks or because the story was really relevant and of interest? This question can help them filter the news better. An alarming topic can lead to a discussion about the role and mission of news.

Teach your children to be prepared, not terrified. For example, if the news is about natural disasters, then it is time to make a plan together so that the whole family knows what to do. If a disease is spreading, talk about ways to protect yourself and others. Teach them that preparing and staying calm is the smart way to react to these announcements, and it will create a habit that will help them for life.

Talk about what you can do to help. After a tragic event, finding ways to help can give children a sense of control. Look for news stories that highlight what other people are doing to help. No matter how small their contribution, point out that for someone who has lost everything, this can mean a lot.

Put the news in a proper context. Turn the discussion of a specific story about a difficult event into a larger conversation. Use it as a way to talk about helping, cooperating, and the ways people deal with adversity.

Limit exposure to news

• Decide what type and amount of news is appropriate for your child. Is it good to let him watch the noon news during lunch? Leave a crime report diary at your fingertips? Encourage them not to follow the news constantly, much less alone, especially when the subjects are difficult. Do not forbid them, but agree that you will decide when you will see them together.
• Monitor the amount of difficult or conflicting news your child hears. Observe how often you discuss the news in front of your children. Turn off the television so that the news does not become the background noise of your family life.
• Set limits. Television is not the only medium. It’s okay to tell your kids that you don’t want them to have constant exposure to the news and to set ground rules about device and social media use. Also ask about the people who share this type of information with your children, it could be other children.
• Select a channel, newscast or other medium that seems to you to handle this type of news neutrally. Watch the news with your child and talk about it. Turn off the TV or change the channel if you think the news is not appropriate for your child.
• Be guided by the ages of the children. The Common Sense Media organization recommends that up to 6 years do not expose children to shocking news, or discuss such matters in your presence. But if it happens, reassure them that the family will be okay, don’t scold them as if they have done something wrong, and help them distinguish between fantasy and reality.
• Ages 7 and up, watch closely to see if your child shows any interest in the news. Make it clear that you are open to answering all of their questions. And when the child does, do not dismiss them or leave them for another day. Tell the truth, use simple language, and use that time to teach concepts like compassion: the news of catastrophes, crises and crimes are real events that happen to other people, causing them loss and suffering, and despite the treatment given to them in a certain medium or channel, they do not exist for our entertainment. Also give context and perspective. Why do these things happen? What alternatives would be ideal? Talk about dialogue, democracy, solidarity.
• En As for adolescents, the safest thing is to assume that they know what is going on. But they do not know everything and cannot understand everything. They can receive a lot of biased, false and malicious information. You start the conversation with them. Don’t make fun of their sources, offer them something that expands their horizons, but also hope, assuring them that they can have a positive impact on the world through their lives. (F)