Neuropsychologist Bibigul Kushalieva described how manipulators cleverly use tricks to get people to act in a certain way. In a conversation with Lenta.ru, she warned that even the closest people can try to manipulate a person, but one must be able to resist this.
Often, when dealing with a manipulator, a person experiences awkwardness, shame, irritation, or an obsessive desire to look good. According to the expert, it is this negative state that is the main goal of the manipulator, since in this state the interlocutor becomes easy prey.
Fear-based manipulation is one of the most common manipulator tricks. For example, they like to say phrases like: “Who needs you besides me?”, “Only I can tolerate your stupid character”, “You are not at the age to…”.
According to Kushalieva, such manipulations can be presented as a joke or an inadvertently flown out phrase, but, as a rule, they hit the target. A person who is constantly told such words runs the risk of being captured by a manipulator who inspires a sense of worthlessness. Here it is necessary to stop such conversations once and for all in order to save personal self-esteem, the expert explained.
Kushalieva also talked about manipulation based on evaluation. It makes you doubt your professional skills. It is then that you can hear the phrases: “You have a great portfolio, but why did you prepare such a bad project?” or “Tell me honestly, do you like this slogan yourself?”. In this case, most people will immediately begin to make excuses, to save the image. The manipulator, on the other hand, has a very specific goal: to get something they need as an apology.
Manipulation on pity sounds like this: “Come into my position, I’m having such a difficult period”, “Please replace me for the last time, my child is very sick”, “If you don’t lend me money, I won’t have anything to buy drugs “. It is difficult to resist such manipulations because people would not want to look like monsters in the eyes of colleagues, friends or neighbors. However, even in such a difficult situation, it is important not to give in to emotions and try to discuss other options.
With manipulation based on shame, they try to shift the responsibility onto other people’s shoulders: “Aren’t you ashamed to behave in this way?”, “Aren’t you ashamed to work for a pittance?”. According to Kushalieva, the best solution for such a psychological attack would be equanimity and emphatic politeness: “I didn’t say anything offensive that could offend you” or “I am completely satisfied with my own income.”
Manipulation on a sense of worth can cause a person to act in a certain way. The manipulator plays on the self-esteem of the interlocutor, raising or lowering it. Vivid examples of technology in action: “How lucky I am with you, because you decided to buy that expensive tour!” or “You’ll look pathetic if you don’t deal with this situation.” The manipulator frankly plays on a person’s sense of importance, deliberately elevating him to the status of “one who can afford it” or belittling him to a “loser”. The psychologist advised me to find the strength in myself to turn the tide or refuse immediately, or, if this cannot be done, take a time out, citing the need to think it over carefully.
Source: Rosbalt
Mario Twitchell is an accomplished author and journalist, known for his insightful and thought-provoking writing on a wide range of topics including general and opinion. He currently works as a writer at 247 news agency, where he has established himself as a respected voice in the industry.
