I see a series where a man from the nobility says, “Tradition is the life of society, more than anything for the aristocracy.” And my mental cables are moving because the analysis is flowing, fast. The speed with which people live today proves exactly the opposite: the change and even the expulsion of established customs, which are considered essential within a rigid vision of life.

Today I’m referring to the idea of ​​courtship, that male ritual around a woman they wanted to “conquer” (note the warlike connotation of that word). Admit that it was only one way – the woman was courted – and that the active attitude, be it choice, gestures, communication and statement of intentions, remained in the hands of the man. Behind the modest behavior of the daughter, the project of the parents was discovered. When social behavior was tinged with erotica, we started seduction. In the advancement of men, the gaze stripped women – in art it stripped them long ago –, it led hands and words towards objectification and spectacle. As it was said about the actress Ava Gardner: “She is the most beautiful animal in the world”. Compliment, compliment? Implicit dehumanization: animals are bought, they cost money. These approaches took virginity – perhaps looking for “proof of love” -, offered marriage, left unrecognized children along the way.

It was always considered a rumor that the masters took maids, that poor women were hunting grounds for gentlemen without the hassle of going to brothels and paying for sexual services. There were many children whose parents were African slave owners in the United States, as in the case of President Jefferson. Therefore, abuse and harassment are figures of behavior that must figure when we think about women’s problems. For a married man to approach a woman is mere adultery; The fact that bosses demand relationships from their subordinates does not change the status of the marital order. And I presented this discovery: the powerful placed sexual services as a step towards the girls’ professional growth.

History (…) continues to show us that violence can usurp the place of love…

Falling in love unravels a tangle of signals that should be mutual, without gender roles codifying what is available to each other. I understand that these freedoms make the lives of new generations easier, when the old beliefs of patriarchy do not cloud the lives of the young. Today, sexuality is a correct and responsible right that cannot write categories on people’s foreheads. His experience enters the areas of mental health, knowledge of the body and the right to pleasure, the conditions for a healthy life typical of citizens of the world.

Abuse, rape and feminicide, hateful variants of sexual intimacy, sick expressions of the feeling of possession and dominance of one sex over the other, should not even be thought of. But I have to do it. History has given us and continues to show us that violence can usurp the place of love, take the paths of coexistence. And as long as these depravities persist, there will be no civilization. And feminism has profound tasks to continue to undertake. (OR)