When a “black streak” sets in in life, it may seem that a fatal combination of circumstances is to blame for everything. However, there are many studies that prove that success and failure are a consequence of our actions. According to Doctor Peter, psychologist Valery Gut claims that the “black streak” sometimes comes as a large-scale event – like an avalanche that brings down the habitually established life. And sometimes everything happens slowly – it just gets a little worse every day: relationships deteriorate, finances melt, prospects turn into a mirage.
“Negative mental attitudes literally cover the eyes, not allowing you to see opportunities, even if they lie on the surface,” Guth said. “This is due to the immaturity of the personality, its infantilism: a person shifts responsibility to other people or circumstances.”
He also listed 4 signs that are characteristic of an infantile person:
“I cannot be responsible for everything that happens in my life.” It seems that the circumstances are so complex and unpredictable that it is impossible to cope with them, which means that you can not be responsible for your reactions to them.
“Others know better what is right.” A person easily changes his mind and lends himself to manipulation. And where there is no clear position, there is nothing to catch on to luck.
“Someday everything will work out – then I’ll live.” All actions that should please and bring satisfaction depend on the occurrence of an event. As a result, either this event does not occur, or nothing changes significantly after it.
“I am a victim and I need help.” Those who tend to feel sorry for themselves and list their problems and troubles program their brain very well to search for the negative, throwing the positive out of the scope of attention.
According to the psychologist, how much luck loves or dislikes you can be understood if you look back at your childhood. Some parenting strategies shape the psychology of a minion of fate, while others make you miss your chance:
connivance. The child is given almost unlimited freedom. Parents do not have an understanding of how to educate him, they do not know when to scold him, when to praise him. And they are not particularly interested in this, absorbed in their adult worries.
authoritarian approach. This is the other extreme. The freedom of the child is too severely limited: he has no right to his opinion, desires. The manifestations of independence are followed by physical violence, or punishment by silence, manipulation of guilt or fear.
Hyper-care. If parents are too worried about their child, they can literally “cut off his oxygen”, trying to control all actions, decisions, and even the thought process.
Guth noted that such approaches to education suppress the will, deprive them of inner support, and lead to the belief that it is useless to even try to change something for the better.
“This condition is called learned helplessness syndrome,” the expert explained. This phenomenon was discovered by the American psychologist Martin Seligman. The bottom line is this: a person, having once learned that attempts to help themselves do not lead to the desired result, begins to be guided by this belief in other situations when it is possible and necessary to act.
He also listed the mistakes that scare away luck:
We set too big goals. So big that we feel helpless and disappointed next to them.
We are not minding our own business. To achieve success if work does not bring joy and satisfaction is much more difficult than in your favorite work.
We don’t take real action. We put off things that over time, in any case, should lead us to a result.
We give up quickly. Luck loves the stubborn. If you abandon your plan after 1-2 attempts, she simply will not have time to come.
By changing the approach to the perception of certain events in life, you can also attract good luck. “If you look at it, the“ black streak ”is not so much bad luck as a consequence of erroneous actions and decisions that appear in a crisis situation,” the psychologist said. “So the sooner we ask ourselves, ‘What can I do to change things for the better?’ the sooner life will get better.”
According to the psychologist, there are certain actions that can help “tame” luck. It’s up to you to start putting them into practice.
Objectively evaluate reality. Match your desires with opportunities and replace dreams with a clear plan.
Be yourself. Trying to conform to other people’s ideas and values, we risk missing out on what is truly dear to us.
Study yourself. The one who knows what he wants gets it more often than the one who hopes to be blessed by a random miracle.
Develop creative thinking. Looking at the same situation from different angles allows you to see hidden opportunities.
Increase the number of attempts. The chances of success directly depend on them.
“In order for luck to become a faithful companion, you need to understand yourself well, grow above yourself and take responsibility for your actions, learn to solve problems, ask for help from other people,” Gut said. — When we persevere, gradually move towards our goals, overcoming difficulties, we pump the skill of managing our lives. The lucky mindset is a skill that can be developed and helps you see the possibilities in every situation.”
Source: Rosbalt
Mario Twitchell is an accomplished author and journalist, known for his insightful and thought-provoking writing on a wide range of topics including general and opinion. He currently works as a writer at 247 news agency, where he has established himself as a respected voice in the industry.
