Psychological research led by the American Academy of Psychology suggests how to recognize and alleviate parental burnout.
Caring for children at home has been an effort not always recognized. Having another job or job at the same time is a constant balancing act. But the 2020 and 2021 school years have raised the bar for parents. There was just no way to escape from home school and all the hours after it.
It seems there is finally a light and this week The Emergency Operations Committee (COE) will announce if it decides to adopt the proposal of the Ministry of Education to restore the mandatory face-to-face classes. Hundreds of educational institutions in Guayaquil, Durán and Samborondón have returned to face-to-face classes progressively and voluntarily.
It is time, says the American Academy of Psychology, to for parents to recover from pandemic burnout, before life changes again towards a normality still marked by biosafety regulations and new variants of the coronavirus.
The burnout or exhaustion is a syndrome characterized by emotional exhaustion, depersonalization, and reduced personal satisfaction, the result of having been exposed for a long time to an intense environment. Doesn’t it seem serious? The World Health Organization recognized it in 2019 as an occupational condition, linked to symptoms such as fatigue, changes in sleeping habits and… substance use. It is associated with trades such as healthcare providers, attorneys, and financial executives. And now with parents going through post-pandemic life.
Research by psychologists from the Melbourne Institute, in Australia (2020), has reported that those who experience the most mental stress are parents of school-age children (more than a quarter of the 1.5 million working parents with children aged 5 to 11 had very high levels), especially when they did not have additional help at home (four times more than those who did not have to do simultaneous care and work ).
Dr Isabelle Roskam, a professor at the Faculty of Psychology and Educational Sciences at the University of Leuven, says a common component is a lot of stress plus the lack of resources to cope with it. “You burn only if there is an imbalance between stress and resources.”
Signs of parental burnout
Roskam and her colleague Moïra Mikolajczak are the authors of the Parental Burnout Assessment, in which the primary symptoms are outlined, which also occur in stages.
The first is fatigue, which depends on the age of the children. Parents of young children tend to physical tiredness for care and games, while those with teenagers stay without emotional reservations after conflicts.
Many parents decided to solve it by focusing on children and tasks during the day, relegating his work to dusk and dawn, which resulted in irritable and stressed adults the next morning.
The second phase comes when parents begin to distance themselves from children at any opportunity, to preserve energy. And in the third, they feel that the satisfaction and sense of parenting has been lost. “These parents say: I love my children, but I can’t bear to be with them anymore,” says Mikolajczak.
At burnout, that one phase begins does not mean that the other one has finished. In the end, they are tired, distant, and disillusioned with their role. Roskam refers that there is a lot of comparison between the parents they used to be, the parents they would like to be and the parents they have become. Then comes the feeling of helplessness and guilt.
A job without a vacation
Something in which the burnout paternal differs from labor is in its consequences. Parents do not have the option of paid vacationsThey cannot ‘quit’ and cannot reinvent themselves in a new job, as occupational therapy advises.
Who are most vulnerable? Parents of more individualistic societies, such as those in the West, say Roskam and Mikolajczak, based on results of a second study, conducted with data from 42 countries, and published in March 2021. Individualistic cultures value competence and performance, which which increases stress and at the same time makes parents not ask for help.
Those who have previous stressors, such as single parents, immigrants, or those with children with special needs they may feel the demands of post-pandemic parenting most strongly. In addition, adults who had traumatic childhoods often have inappropriate beliefs about their role. Like, for example, they may believe that they are incapable of educating children.
What resources can parents use to reduce and mitigate the symptoms of fatigue? The first thing is to share how they feel. From there many opportunities for support can flow. Admitting that you can’t handle the burden at home is difficult, so it’s important to find people with whom you can have a healthy dialogue.
Mikolajczak reminds families that this is a common problem. You are not the only one who yells at your kids when you lose patience or put them on TV so you can make work calls. Talk to parents who have similar problems, who will not judge you or make you feel ashamed.
Yes indeed, do not seek help on social media. It is okay to look for parenting support groups and virtual communities with rules, moderators and, if possible, professionals in charge. If your burnout is keeping you from functioning well or you are having extreme ideas, it is important to go directly to a mental health provider.
As you search for ideas, you may find that some parents found being home with their children every day was a kind of paradise. Do not suffer. Try to find their perspective. Why do they like it so much, what opportunities did they see? It can help you reframe the situation as a challenge rather than a threat. Difficult circumstances will not go away, but you will have gained a resource to cope with them.
Another recommendation from Mikolajczak is that redistribute tasks. Learn how to leave some to your partner and commission simpler ones from the children. If your children’s multiple activities are what plague you, shorten commitments, you don’t have to do everything right now. They can pick it up later.
And use your community and school resources. Ask for mental health seminars, by talks for parents, sign up for an online conference from a local scientific society focused on family wellness, such as in the area of psychology and pediatrics. (F)
Paul is a talented author and journalist with a passion for entertainment and general news. He currently works as a writer at the 247 News Agency, where he has established herself as a respected voice in the industry.
