How many parent meetings have you been to? And how many times have you wanted to get out of there? Added to this is the new way of meeting in recent years, the group chat of representatives, that you will be in continuous communication, at a minimum, the entire school year.
Having a good coexistence relationship is not easy, one or another disagreement will be inevitable, and it is up to the school to mediate in situations that sometimes come out of academics, such as organizing birthday parties off campus.
The psychologist Toyi Espín de Jácome, family counselor and director of the Department of Student Counseling (DECE) of the Israel Educational Unit, explains that this area is attentive to parents being able to get along. The first thing is empower families to teach their children that they will encounter adverse situations at school and in any other environment. “And prepare them for life.”
She has two recommendations for interaction in the virtual version of the parent group:
- Be careful with the opinions issued. “We may be affecting other people; let us think that we are here to be conciliators and to add, not to divide”.
- Keep in mind the objective for which the group exists or for which there is a board or committee: is it the wishes or style of the parents or is it the welfare of all students?
The expertise of the leader or manager of that group is important. Coexistence will not depend on a single person, but on the whole group; each contributing the skills they have to serve that entire community. “Let’s not think of serving only our son or daughter, we are acting based on the entire group.”
Part of that benefit is setting an example of interaction for children, who perceive and reflect what they see and hear from their parents. Mom doesn’t like this lady? Maybe I don’t like my partner then either, because she’s her daughter.
From this it can be discuss and establish some rules for the group, and put them in writing. “I always say that agreements have to be written in order to remember them; when we do them verbally, we forget them.” Rules and commitments, adds the psychologist Espín, “to know what I am committed to, what each one individually can contribute.”
Rule Suggestions:
- In the group, people will not be bad-mouthed. “Sometimes we want to attack the person, rather than their actions.”
- If there is a personal problem, If a parent feels that their child has been affected, it is preferable to speak directly with the teacher or principal.before ventilating it in the face-to-face or virtual group.
- Decide what will be discussed in the group, and stick to it. Themes about the class, school activities, biosecurity measures and transportation; but avoid, as in any place where it is important to maintain peace, comments that come out of that area, such as commercial, political, religious and sports messages. It can start as a joke or a well-intentioned comment, and then escalate.
- Group members must also understand that they are handling sensitive information about children and their families, and so they must maintain the confidentiality of this data. Do not disclose the names of your children’s classmates, or parents, or their economic status, place of work, state of health, among others.
- To choose the leader, be guided by prudence and his social skills, rather than by his sympathy with you. If the school or the teacher summons to make this decision, put in advance requirements and responsibilities, to prevent someone from proposing out of emotion and then not having the time or desire to invest in a social endeavor.
“It would be necessary to analyze if the person who will carry our voice, be it a proposal, a protest or a complaint, He will do it in a polite, cordial and gentle way, without losing those values that are important to maintain a healthy relationship between parents and managers”, concludes Espín.
Minimum agreements for school coexistence
The educational process is not exclusive to teachers or education, but is shared between the educational institution, teachers, family and society. Hence the need to have groups of parents to participate in decisions.
Of course, diverse people converge in these spaces, especially culturally, because even if we live in the same city or community, the styles of each family are different.
From his experience, what the school can propose is something known as a ethics of minimums, explains David Moromenacho, anthropologist, educator and pedagogical coordinator of the Corporation for Audiovisual Education Francisco Xavier (Ceafax). The minimums are basic conditions to communicate, understand each other and collaborate in situations involving children of other parents.
“When families send their children to school, they are thinking about a life project, and entrusting part of it to an institution that welcomes them.” Moromenacho advises the family to know what the roles and scope of the educational institution are. For example, since there are groups, there must be a code of coexistence that the school must elaborate and guarantee that it is complied with.
Moromenacho believes that in Ecuadorian society parents still have some consideration and respect for the institution and the teachers, but he acknowledges that it is something that is always in tension. And that this tension easily reaches children.
“Now that there are many more communication channels, it will imply both a benefit and a risk.” The first is that information circulates faster, it is instantaneous, and the risk comes from the different perspectives that will jump at the same time on issues that concern education and upbringing. For example, there are parents for whom it is very important that the children have good grades and reach the top. Others may be more relaxed.
Beforehand, you have to go with the premise that These differences should not have a direct impact on the daily life of the children at school. That the role of parents is to accompany the educational process, but that the protagonists of the day to day in the classroom (learning methods, tasks) are the children, and directing this time is the responsibility of the teachers.
Are there regulations for dealing with parent group issues? “The legal regulations in Ecuador establish a series of protocols regarding conflicts within educational institutions, although these have been extended to spaces of recent appearance, such as group chats, where the protocols are not entirely clear.
“Over there DECE’s participation is essential to intervene in case there is a conflict, within a legal framework”, says Moromenacho. It is also true that you do not necessarily have to reach that level, unless they are serious instances, verbal, physical or psychological aggression.
Disagreements, on the other hand, can be managed between the parents and the institution, listening to everyone, not taking sides, recognizing the diversity of families and seeking a solution based on the minimum agreements that have been previously established. (F)
Source: Eluniverso
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