Stories of twins and sisters abound. But what about their parents? They also face great challenges. From the double diaper change, simultaneously comforting a double cry… and then, educate them. Undoubtedly, an arduous and complex task awaits these parents.
The German trainer Ilka Poth is part of a pair of twins and is dedicated to advising parents who had two children simultaneously. During an interview, she tells what aspects parents of twins should especially take into account while educating them. And, also, why identical clothing for twins isn’t necessarily a good idea.
What are the particular challenges parents of twins face in raising them?
The special challenge for parents of twins is very clearly for me the special bond and joint identity that they have. Because it is already generated in the womb and leaves its mark throughout life.
At the same time, one’s own identity must be developed and further consolidated. For this, a stable mother-father-child bond is important. And also that the interests of each child be promoted individually.
Therefore, it is important that parents of twins regularly spend time with only one of the two children and find out what he likes. Because if not, it is often that one twin hides a little behind the other and simply does what the other likes. And in this way, that child cannot fully develop her individual potential.
Parents should also pay attention that the twins each have their own friends. That doesn’t mean you can’t have friendships in common. Just when they are still small, this will often be the case. But children must learn how to network and also that sometimes they can do things separately.
This takes time, as well as more hours in the car, and is not always financially easy for families. But agreements can be sought, such as a joint club, in which, for example, one twin attends soccer and the other plays hockey.
Would you also recommend that parents have their children attend separate grades?
This is indeed a question that parents of twins often ask me. Basically yes, but there is no single answer, because many times it is more about how and when.
To make a decision, it is necessary to carefully consider the relationship of the twins and also the children and what they want. Therefore, the subject should be discussed separately with each child.
But if it is the case that, when the children enter school, they have not yet reached that point of maturation to separate, then you should focus on the transition to secondary school, to achieve it there.
In principle, I am always in favor of children going to school separately. Because if one of the children stands out and is more dominant, then the other will quickly go unnoticed at school and will not be able to develop.
One twin walks before the other. A brother brings a fair mark in mathematics, and his sister, a good one. How should parents react to the uneven development of their twins?
The comparisons make absolutely no sense. In this way, only the twins face each other and the competition that they already have is strengthened. Because we are always fighting for recognition, we always have to share. Even in adulthood, these comparisons are quite an issue and can drive a wedge between twins.
Of course, they cannot be completely avoided, it is natural for parents to compare their children. However, they should not speak openly about the findings that are being made in front of them.
Children need to feel accepted for who they are. And if one of the twins progresses less quickly in their development, they often pick it up later. Therefore, you have to keep calm.
It is also sensible to talk to children about these comparisons when they are old enough. After all, these also come from relatives or even strangers on the street. So you have to provide them with tools to formulate positive responses, which they can also express to people they don’t know.
Dressing the twins in the same way can lead to even more intent comparison by those who are observing them.
Therefore, if the children themselves do not want the same clothes, it is best to give up on the same clothes, even if the parents find this to be pretty.
Source: Eluniverso
Paul is a talented author and journalist with a passion for entertainment and general news. He currently works as a writer at the 247 News Agency, where he has established herself as a respected voice in the industry.
