In general terms, abuse is usually seen as a moment and not as a continuum. As a specific circumstance and not as a “way of proceeding, of being and of being”. They even see it as if it were “from another” and not something that is part of with prejudices and ideas.
Faced with episodes of violence, many questions arise: What happened to him? What motivated such a person to hit the other? Rarely do the answers agree. To try to understand it, it is convenient to know how the mind of an abuser works.
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How to detect an abuser?
Enrique EcheburĂșa, a clinical psychologist, points out that there is no specific profile of an abuser, but there are some common features. Among them, he exposes the following:
- Cognitive distortions.
- Absence or scarcity of empathy.
- Deficit in social skills, communication and problem solving.
- Regarding cognitive distortions, they are characterized by patriarchal beliefs, which justify the dominance of men over women, for example. In the mind of an abuser, power is a key concept. As he publishes Better with Health.
- He seeks to exercise control over other people, he believes he has the right to do so and recognizes himself as superior: Hence, he does not stop to think with empathy and does not pay attention to the rights of others.
- He does not recognize or admit points of view different from his own and seeks to impose himself.
- Even, since they are unable to recognize themselves as responsible, they use various strategies to “resolve” their conflicts: They minimize the facts, victimize themselves, deny the violence, among others.
- They appeal to gaslighting: A type of psychological abuse in which another person’s perception of reality is manipulated and modified. It is usually very common.
- They act subtly.
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In general, it is difficult to recognize them, since they perform very well on a social level and, a priori, they are charming and involving. His abuse is not usually indiscriminate: It is not directed at all the people he surrounds himself with. On the contrary, it is usually directed towards someone specific.
Numerous investigations focus on abuse from the deficit in emotional management. In other words, there is an emotional dysregulation that facilitates the “passage to the act” of violence.
At this point, the lack of impulse control and anger are key to understanding the reason for the abuse.
Characteristics of the mind and personality of an abuser
Some of the characteristics of the mind and personality of an abuser are the following:
- Egocentrism and narcissism: This is what they show, but at the same time they are insecure people.
- Intolerance, rigidity.
- Minimization of facts and responsibility.
- Thoughts in terms of all or nothing, black or white.

The key is in prevention and in the change of ideas
Making forms of abuse visible is crucial to addressing it. In addition, it is convenient to change some concepts around romantic love.
Regarding the aggressor subject, there are different therapeutic programs to give a course to a treatment.
Some of the main objectives have to do with recognizing responsibility in the facts and working on biased beliefs. Of course, motivation to change and commitment to treatment will be essential.

(YO)
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Source: Eluniverso

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