Who Should Pay on the First Date? “The more he invests, the more he will try”

In accordance with the principles of savoir-vivre, the person who invites the dinner, regardless of whether it is a woman or a man, pays for dinner. But how does it work in practice? I asked a few of my friends about it. It turns out that opinions on this subject are very divided.

Whoever invites you on a date pays

Julia adheres to the principle that the party that invites you to pay pays for it all. However, in her opinion, this should change at the stage of the relationship. – Then it is worth paying a change. In my opinion, it is a stupid rule that a man is always supposed to finance everything – he sums up.

“I may be old-fashioned, but when it comes to a first date, I think it would be nice if the guy paid.” I would probably expect it if I had chosen one and I would probably be disgusted if it had happened otherwise – says Ewa.

“It has a psychological significance”

Celina, who for many years paid for herself at the first meetings with men, in retrospect believes that it was a big mistake. In her opinion, this is one of the reasons why she felt that she was often exploited financially in the later stages. – Currently, I believe that the man should pay on the first date. It has a psychological significance. Thanks to this, the man tries and gives something from himself.

Once Celina told her aunt about her problem. – In her opinion, a woman should not allow a situation in which a man does not pay all for the first date. She also said that the more a man invests at this early stage of the relationship, the more he will try later – reveals Celina.

First meeting? It’s not a date

Martyna certainly does not agree with this opinion. For as long as she can remember, my interlocutor has always paid for herself on first dates. – In my opinion, these first meetings are more about getting to know each other and checking whether we want to continue dating at all. That’s why I don’t call it dating – she reveals. Martyna also adds that in recent years, when dating apps have become popular, her principle has been especially useful. “I’ve met the guys I met on Tinder a few times. When we talked on the communicator, it promised to be great. And already at the first meeting it turned out that nothing would come of it. If we had met in a normal life, I would probably never go out with them.

“They didn’t let me contribute to the bill”

However, such sharing of expenses is not always possible. Sometimes, as Natalia reveals, men do not allow women to do so. – I’m in favor of everyone paying for themselves on the first date. However, this is just a theory in my case. Back in the days when I was single and I was dating a lot, I usually found men who wouldn’t let me contribute to the bill.

Natalia also had some unpleasant experience of settling her bill after the meeting. – Once upon a time I was on a very bad date that I wanted to end after about two hours. I offered to go ahead and pay for our orders. Then the man I met suggested that we … don’t pay at all and leave the restaurant. This, of course, was our last meeting. After he left the premises, I paid for me and for him – he recalls.

“I didn’t fight it”

Gosia’s story is another proof that our approach to this issue may change over time. – When I was younger, I strongly defended my independence and did not let men pay for me on a date. I was all the more stubborn on this issue when I did not know how the relationship would turn out. It was nice when they offered to pay the bill, but I preferred to pay for myself anyway.

However, Gosia changed her mind when she met her current partner. – From the beginning of our relationship, he invited me to places that I simply couldn’t afford. For him, however, it was very important to visit new restaurants, sometimes to go to some high-end restaurant. I did not fight it because I knew that it gives him and me great joy.

Gosia pays attention to one more issue. – Recently I noticed that there is a type of guys who are very careful not to be “used” by women who are hungry for their money, and that is a crap for me. Really guys? In the 21st century, women can earn for themselves and it is not their priority to hunt a rich boy who will pay for them … And when you find such women, it may be worth considering what key you choose for partners for meetings – he sums up.

***

Your stories and opinions are important to us. We are waiting for your letters and comments. Write to us at the following address: [email protected]. We will publish the most interesting letters.

You might also like: