Natalia Szroeder: I haven’t had a decent radio hit since “Parasola”, but I don’t care anymore

Maja Piskadło: The first “P” word that comes to mind …

Natalia Szroeder: My dear, “reverberation” of course! It’s been over a month since the release of the album, but I live it invariably, so it could not be otherwise.

And yet! Are you able to indicate a specific moment when the history of this album begins, or is it necessary to talk about the trial?

Certainly the latter. A lot has happened to me in the five years since the premiere of “NATinterpretation”; these are the paths, the curves that have led me to where I am today. I did not expect this. I am faced with things that I did not dare to dream about, people with whom any musical contact was recently only in the sphere of imagination speak. It is not without reason that I emphasize that I am making my debut for the second time. A new stage for me started with the song “Tides”, she was the first to find “Pogłos”. At the time of creating this issue, I was under the wings of a different management that had strictly defined expectations for me, and I was trying to meet them.

I still heard that we must have a radio hit, while “Tides” was not the material for such a hit. I sent the recording to my crew with a note like: “I know it’s not a hit, but I love this song, I want to show it to the world.” And I didn’t get any answer. I realized it’s high time to change my surroundings, otherwise I won’t go any further. I am absolutely not saying that my former band is a bad band, but our visions fell apart.

At the time of my separation, the wind blew on my sails when it comes to the creative sphere of my life; I told myself that I would not obey meekly anymore. I shed the masks and blockades that I had lived with for a decade. I was ready to release “Tides” by myself, I even recorded the first video without a budget – I believed so much in this track. But changes have come, and the time has come for him as well.

The faith paid off, because the reaction of the listeners in the case of “Tides” was extraordinary. I myself watched how many different people around me touched this piece, regardless of age or experience.

The audience’s reaction exceeded all expectations. I get a lot of messages all the time about The Tides; I only played four concerts this year, but each of them was attended by people who had individual stories with this piece. It is the great power of music that always moves me. Music brings the most memories and associations, and when it turns out that what I do affects others in this way, it’s the best thing for me, a huge motivation.

“Tides” were written as a duo from the beginning, but not with Ralph Kaminski in mind, although we had been working together for years. First the melody was created and at one point Archie and I caught up with it sounding like it was made just for Ralph. We felt that this composition has something magical – theoretically simple, but I am a fan of minimalism, in my opinion, the purest, simplest emotions are best defended. I sent a demo to Ralph, sung as usual in Flemish-English-Hungarian, and he replied: “Natka, a beautiful number, I’m into it, I haven’t sung anything in English for a long time.” I had to disappoint him and say that this is not the right text yet … (laughs)

The right one was made with exceptional help, right?

Yes, I sent this track to my parents who I always share my music with when I feel like something has come out for me. Dad got inspired and two days later he sent me a loose, beautiful white poem, which evoked a lot of emotions in me and the message perfectly matched the music. I couldn’t leave it like that, so I took it to the workshop and it became the basis for the text for “Tides”. I am very family-oriented, sentimental, so this piece became even more important to me.

My whole family was also involved in the work on the music video – and saying “whole”, I’m not exaggerating, because there were about forty people on the set, of which my relatives were probably thirty-five. We filmed in Kłoczno, on the lake where I spent all my holidays and holidays, where I learned to swim (and I haven’t learned it, I still can’t do it today). The “tides” are full of my private sentiments and I think that even if people don’t know about it, it will eventually feel a little bit. Such a truth is hard to distort.

Have you already felt that “Pogłos”, in which you contained a lot of this truth about yourself, changed your relationship with the audience?

He definitely rebuilt it. I have a regular audience that I know from names, surnames, faces, and it turns out that they endured this change, and I was afraid of it. When I think about the things I did six, five, even four years ago, I’m happy with my progress. From the rigid mainstream radio that steered me and influenced me a lot more than I had, I went looking for a different place. I was trembling if there would be such a place for me. It is different to start with a blank slate when no one knows anything about you – you can show yourself from the side you want. My new start was much more difficult, because I have been on the market for ten years and I have songs that are not my lyrics, compositions.

Of course, this is not about looking for the guilty – I agreed to it because I was very young, inexperienced and I let people around do everything. Well, I was happy about it, because it seemed to me that if I didn’t do these things, I wouldn’t do anything, and I wanted to sing, be on stage. My first episodes with bigger scenes gave me duets with Liber. I remember how strongly people held this duo in their minds and thought it would be like that forever, that I would be just a pretty chorus girl. When I parted artistically with Liber and decided to go solo, I felt a similar terror. I’ve heard words like: “maybe they won’t want you like that?”. Now it was even more difficult.

Photo Roman Bosiacki / Agencja Wyborcza.pl

You are already out of “should I?” to “can”?

This is also a process. For me, the mere fact that I said aloud what was happening to me, that I diagnosed the torments that I was subjecting to at my own request, was half the battle. The task now is to follow the straight road and not get stuffed into holes. Even though “Pogłos” is melancholic, you can find a rebellion on this album, one in my style. As a teenager, I did not go through this stage, for which my parents are grateful to me (laughs). I never ran away from home, I always came back at the agreed time, so in later years I was allowed to do more because my parents knew that they could trust me. Today I rebel in my own way, in the texts, and I feel that I have settled what was weighing on me. I can go on.

Let me come back to the transitional point in your musical path. You have released “Umbrellas”, which are not on the “Pogłos”. In one of your interviews two years ago you said: “I have to make many difficult decisions about the future. I would like my second album to be good and ‘umbrella’, but I also know that I cannot overdo it”. In the context of these difficult relations with the management, the pressure to hit, but also the fact that the second album is not “umbrella” at all, I wonder how much you were telling the truth then …

I told the truth for sure, because that’s what I am. Anyway, I’ll tell you more: to this day I really like “Umbrellas”, I think that at that moment it was a brave move on my part, even juxtaposing it with “Mirrors” or “I will change you”. I think that the fact that it is difficult for me to distinguish between friendly and professional relationships is a big obstacle – I’m the worst about it. Both my parents and people close to me said more than once that this is my job and I have to stand up, fight for myself, and it was by the “Umbrellas” that I had a lamp.

We operated on benchmarks of success that were not in line with me. The most important thing was the radio, which “Umbrellas” did not conquer. Yes, they did well on the internet, I got good feedback from the listeners, but what if the radio for this song is not playing and the radio is selling open air. We only played such concerts. If you are not on the radio, you are not heard in the offices, so you do not get invitations for city days and the circle is closed. Since “Umbrellas” I haven’t really had such a decent radio hit, but I didn’t care anymore. Do I have to make music according to a pattern for the rest of my life? I didn’t mean to. Besides, I have friends who make great things, the radio doesn’t play them most often, and concerts are like that, people want to listen to them. So it is not at all that you have to make a radio “crap” to get something. I’ve heard enough about this “hit” to know that a song like “Should I?” I have to promote with someone who will believe it.

You mentioned people close to you “from the industry”. I have already said a few important words for “P”, so I would like to ask you about friendship. Your family’s views on your music are crucial to you – and what about your fellow musicians?

When it comes to this album, working on it was very strange for me, because I was embarrassed by these compositions. I still thought it wasn’t good enough. As for the way I acted earlier, I shut myself up in an unusual way – most of my friends heard “Pogłos” after the premiere. I put such enormous pressure on myself that I was simply scared. Normally I am a person who shows my things to others with great joy, and this time I completely distanced myself from previous judgments and reactions, even those from my absolute closest friends. Daria [Zawiałow – przyp. red.] for a month she kept asking when we would finally meet for the audition, because we were planning a joint session over a glass of wine, and she ended up listening alone after midnight on Spotify (laughs).

I admit that when I listened to “Reverberation”, I often had associations with Daria’s sound – whether it was with some vocal solutions or with guitars, it was a bit of it. Do you feel that you are influencing each other artistically?

This is a big compliment for me, because apart from the fact that Daria is a wonderful friend, she is a great artist who I admire a lot. She supports me a lot, supports me, even if she was a great support for me when I was parting with the management. It seems to me that we also have a team musically, we motivate each other. You know, it’s hard not to blend in when you spend so much time together. On “Pogłos” there are surely traces of all my relatives who have a romance with music.

And whose music, including those close to you, is Natalia Szroeder sticking to today?

Here, too, I have to come back to this theme of closing myself off, because while creating the album, I hardly listened to any other music. I was afraid that I would succumb to the power of suggestion, so I transferred all my strength to my own things. For the last two or three months before submitting the material, I spent every free moment in the studio and surrounded myself only with our sounds. In retrospect, I think it did me good, otherwise I would have a cacophony in my head. Before, it seemed impossible to live the day without Coldplay, for example, which I have loved for many years, and now I have made it. When I wasn’t working on music, I lived in silence because I needed it very much. Only now do I come back to enjoying other pieces, I listen to “Reverb” less often – but I do listen, however strange it may seem.

What are you looking for there?

I’ve always been like this. After a while, when I get some distance, when I realize that I will not change anything, I will not improve, I listen to myself with my fresh ear and draw conclusions. I wonder what turned out well and what would have to be improved in order not to stop.

I am thinking now about the end of “Reverberation”, where you sing: “Changes are good, and although they cause a lot of stubborn scars, it could have been worse, and let the purpose sanctify these measures for me.” It will be a philosophical, probably high-flown question, but I’m very curious about it – who do you see when you look in the mirror after all these changes?

I honestly admit that I have a lot of respect for the work I have done. I am proud of myself. I am proud of the consistency in making decisions, the consistent faith that I can make it. I took part in projects and events many times, after which I was a bit stupid, sometimes I entered into collaborations that did not satisfy me at all. At some point, I stopped telling my friends if I was playing a concert in Warsaw, because it wasn’t my material, these weren’t the things I wanted to do. Now I would tell about all this and invite them to participate in the happiness that is happening with me. I had a problem with myself for a long time, and now I’m at peace. A few years ago it was not obvious to me, but now I know that there is nothing more beautiful than a space where you can finally live in harmony with yourself. I recommend this feeling to everyone.