Assistant to the district: There is no barrier before the woman would seem to her tent

You are the only person in Poland who is an engagement assistant. Explain first what your work is.

As an engagement assistant, I support from beginning to end in preparation for this important moment in the life of a couple. I am a good fairy that removes all problems, complications and conflicts from the road. It might seem that engagement is a simple thing: just make a decision, buy a ring, kneeling and end.

And is not enough?

No. I heard a lot of stories about engagement that was far from ideal. It often happens that something will spill because it is not completely thought out. I am to protect against any mistakes. People who have an idea, but also those with whom I am looking for it together come to me. It happens that people put off engagement for many years because they don’t know how to go about it. They are stressed by this situation or they cannot cope with the pressure of the environment. This pressure very often affects how we want to propose.

My mother says: “It would be best like dad. He bought flowers and came to his parents with them”, then a friend urges: “The boy proposed to me on Christmas Eve and it would be the best”, there is a friend of our future fiancée: “She likes this or that, it will be best if you do it.” After such words, man does not make decisions independently, but is suggested what the environment expects. I am neutral, i.e. I am not associated with the couple in any way. The most important thing is to bring out how it will be the best for them. Get to know what the people they create a relationship and on this basis to come up with the perfect engagement.

So you are conducting an interview first.

Yes, I always start with that. I browse social profiles, photos. I have to find out how the couple got to know what they do together, how they spend time, how they communicate, what is important to them. I also have to listen to the other side – not from someone on the side, but from a partner. On this basis, I am usually able to determine some tracks. Then we discuss which direction we are going, there are more ideas and suggestions.

“Sky is the Limit”, but if the budget is limited, we must remember that. Although this does not mean that if someone does not have thousands, the engagement will not be tailor -made. It’s not about money, but an idea. For something that will grab the other person for the heart and show that this step was thought out. Because there are things that can threaten this event.

Will you give examples?

The simplest example: someone organized an engagement in the park, by a tree, where they kissed for the first time, but did not take into account that it was November and it rains. And the engagement is ongoing! Because you have to feel the right moment, say a monologue. And this beloved is freezing and wants to go home. He only thinks that you want to drink something warm, because she will have to go to L4 soon. It causes stress, breeding. Neither one nor the other side is in a romantic mood.

Like obvious, but the weather would be the last thing I would think about. If at all.

And it should be the first! The second thing is to suggest stereotypical solutions. Some people think: “It would be great to propose to a birthday.” And we also add to this category: name day, Christmas, family events. I say “stop” right away. Indeed, these are magical moments, but do aunt, grandmother and uncle have to accompany us then? It’s unnecessary stress. Of course, you can propose on holidays, but for two, without witnesses.

There is also a trend to do it during the holidays abroad. My husband proposed to me on vacation in Turkey, but it was his proposal that caused me to become an engagement consultant. I thought that such a person was needed, because there may be a situation that complicates everything.

I understand that these were not your dream proposal. What went wrong?

We have been together for some time and were preparing for these holidays. At that moment I felt that I would like him to be my husband, to plan a life together. I knew it was a good time to determine. Then Sanah sang: “And I like you, I think about it too much about it” and I was humming it all the time. He told me not to expect anything in Turkey, because he had to think about it.

We literally quarreled before leaving. I asked him: “Listen, will you decide to get married? How do you see it?” And he was tender that it was too early for him. I began to wonder what this man was about. We went on vacation in bad moods. On the second day, he really wanted us to see the sunset. When we reached the beach, he knelt and proposed. I didn’t feel joy at that time, I was confused.

He just said he didn’t want to, and now he was jumping with the ring. Before I realized that it was a proposal, I was stupid. Then he explained to me that he wanted to surprise me. That he said it all so that I would not guess. Gentlemen, we don’t do such things. It really works on emotions and can destroy the relationship.

With what dilemmas do people who want to organize engagement come to you? Why don’t they do it alone?

It is not a matter of the fact that someone is unable to organize engagement, because you can always do it yourself. But if we can use the help of an expert on planning holidays, diet, invite home a person who will organize things in the closet – why not ask for help in planning engagement?

Not everyone has a sense of planning, creativity and organization. I believe that people who report to the engagement assistant are those who want these engagement to be perfect. It’s like using a wedding planner. And this does not mean that someone does it for them. They take an active part in this.

How long does this planning take?

Differently. First, I meet someone for a preliminary conversation. Consultation is paid. Then I give myself time to make research and scenarios tailored to these people, I value everything and submit an offer to the client. He can finish cooperation at this stage and organize everything himself according to the script or use my help. Then the organization stays on my side. It’s nice if it lasts a moment longer, because we have time for everything. However, there were also engagement, which I organized on the forty -fourth floor of Varso, which is the highest building in Poland and in the European Union, in two weeks. It’s good that I had very good contact with this person and everything went smoothly, but it was an intense time.

We even had to organize a general test with a pianist, waiter and photographer. I always have to check everything so that, for example, it does not turn out that someone has planned the presence of music, and there is no contacts and in space. We never go to the dark engagement. It’s like an event organization.

In this case, it was so that they had a romantic photo session on the 44th floor and this session turned into engagement. There was a specific scenario for this. The photographer and the future master of young people knew which way they must go, so that she did not see that she was standing a piano, that we were waiting hidden with balloons in another room. Everything had to be tip-top.

You have been operating for three years. How much engagement did you manage to organize at that time?

This is a very fresh topic and I see that people are starting to dare. As an assistant, I don’t have to organize everything right away, sometimes consultation and conversation. I get more and more queries – from women and men. I know a few women who proposed to their women, but in heterosexual relationships women can also take over the baton. There is no barrier before women propose to their man. I was a step away from me to propose to my husband.

Some time ago I talked to a friend who was thinking about proposals and calculated in his head when this good moment was. Should he do it now, because two years you will have to wait for the wedding hall, and then a loan, apartment, etc., and life flows. In your opinion, after what time should we think about engagement in a relationship?

I have already felt hot. I think that if both people are ready, then you just have to do it and that’s it. Dragging does not make sense. If we are wondering that you will have to wait for the room, church, etc., then the engagement value is somewhere else than it should be. It is the readiness of two people to come into force together and if we make it addicted to trivial things, we should look at another place. The engagement should happen when two people feel that they want to build life together.

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