Dangerous myths and stereotypes regarding marital life and the abuses that occur therein result from the so-called rape culture, which casts a huge shadow over the suffering of people experiencing sexual crimes. This topic was discussed by journalist Magdalena Kuszewska in her reportage. The journalist talked, among others, with women who have experienced rape in their marriage for years.
Marital rape is the same crime prohibited by the Penal Code. The only difference is that it occurs – as the name suggests – in a marital relationship. The perpetrator of rape is one of the spouses, and the victim is the other person in the marriage. Unfortunately, there are so many harmful myths surrounding the sexual life of spouses in social space that it is important to regularly make society aware of the fact that rapes often occur in marriage. Many people do not realize how common this phenomenon is and repeat harmful theories, completely devoid of legal awareness in this area.
Marital rape is a serious crime
It must be emphasized very clearly that being married or in any other informal relationship it does not give any right or excuse for reprehensible behavior that constitutes a prohibited act on the part of one spouse towards the other. Myths repeated in public space only lead to greater impunity for perpetrators and a lack of reaction from society to the crimes committed.
And although legally it is a serious crime, in practice it is often the case that proving it is an extremely difficult and traumatic process, and people who have experienced it suffer in silence. According to experts, this situation may concern many Polish citizens. One of Newsweek’s interlocutors, Kamila Ferenc, a lawyer associated with the Foundation for Women and Family Planning FEDERA, said that prosecuting the perpetrator of marital rape must be based on three premises: unlawful threat, deceit or violence. Among others that’s why it’s so hard to prove from a legal point of view. Without one of them – as she pointed out – “according to the law in force in Poland, there is no crime.”
There is no “marital obligation”.
Another interlocutor of the Newsweek reporter noted that in marital relationships “there are many opportunities to abuse power and force people to have sex.” – In traditional thinking, marriage is understood as a relationship of belonging to each other, also in the area of the body. Sex is treated as an obligation (…). This is part of rape culture. The toxic concept of ‘marital obligation’ makes it difficult for women to set boundaries and recognize what is happening in their relationship, contributing to them becoming victims. It also rationalizes men’s right to cross boundaries, opening the way to violence (…) – emphasized therapist Agnieszka Czapczyńska. The expert emphasizes that rape does not have to be accompanied by physical aggression. This is also one of the stereotypes.
“I denied the thought that I was being raped”
A woman known by the initials B told a Newsweek journalist about her extremely traumatic experiences related to marital rape.
As Saturday approached, I began to feel terribly sad. Strange, because we usually enjoy the weekend. Thanks to therapy, I understood what was hurting me
– she said. Although her suffering was great, it was difficult for her to admit that her husband was raping her. For many years she was also unaware that what she was experiencing from her husband was a sexual crime.
I repressed the thought of being raped, even though I felt from the beginning that something was wrong (…). My husband never asked if I wanted to have sex. For over 20 years he just told me we were going to bed and winked. And then we did it, even when I had a cold, was in a bad mood, or simply didn’t want to
– we read in her shocking confessions. The partner also used psychological violence against her. – I couldn’t call it rape, even though he often threatened me: “If you don’t give it to me, I’ll go to another woman.” He didn’t use physical violence, but I felt worse and worse about it. I had sex with him on Saturday evening, and I cried for half of Sunday, the woman told the newspaper.
Sexual violence is any unwanted sexual contact. According to UNICEF data, approximately 15 million teenagers between 15 and 19 years of age have experienced this type of violence around the world, but only 1 percent of teenagers seek help from a professional. Research shows that 80 percent Rape victims develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
If you are a victim of sexual violence, you can get help by calling, for example, the “Niebieska Linia” Telephone Clinic – 22 668 70 00 (7 days a week, 8 a.m. – 8 p.m.) or the 24-hour emergency hotline of the Women’s Rights Center – 600 070 717.
Are you experiencing domestic violence? Are you looking for help? You can, for example, contact the National Emergency Service for Victims of Domestic Violence “Blue Line”. The free hotline is open 24 hours a day at 800 12 00 02. More information can be found at
If there is a threat to life, call the emergency number 112.
Source: Gazeta
Bruce is a talented author and journalist with a passion for entertainment . He currently works as a writer at the 247 News Agency, where he has established himself as a respected voice in the industry.
