Coleen Patricia Nolan is a British singer and television presenter. For years, she has been hosting a popular talk show on ITV called “Loose Women”. In turn, on the British website Mirror.co.uk, she provides relationship advice and responds to letters from readers who ask her for advice on matters of the heart. Recently she responded to , which was about marital infidelity.
“I can’t stop thinking about my wife’s affairs and I’m afraid she will cheat on me again,” we read in the title of the message sent to the editor. “I am a man in his forties, married for almost 20 years. My wife and I have an 18-year-old daughter who went to college in September,” wrote a reader. He went on to explain that although he had always been a “devoted and loyal husband,” his wife had had affairs twice.
I forgave her every time, (…) even though it was painful
– the man admitted. “As far as I know, she has been faithful for the last five years. But the problem is that I still don’t trust her and I resent her because of these affairs,” adds the author of the letter. He also mentioned that since their daughter moved away from home to go to college, he thinks back to painful memories more and more often. He also wondered whether the fact that they now live alone without a child had made him wonder more and more about the condition of his marriage.
Betrayal in marriage. “I’m just waiting for the next romance”
He added that he was not sure whether he was really happy there. “I think we love each other, but is it enough? Suddenly I feel like I lack space in this marriage and I wonder if I want to be in it or not,” he wrote. He said that his wife assured him of her love, but in his opinion she never fully took responsibility for the “pain and humiliation” he suffered. According to him, his partner was always looking for “something more” than what marriage offered and “she doesn’t think it will ever be enough for her.”
“Honestly, I’m just waiting for the next romance. And that’s not right, is it? I’ve never talked to anyone about what happened and how I feel,” the letter author concludes.
Expert: “My daughter was the glue of my marriage”
Coleen Nolan looked into the problem described by a Mirror.co.uk reader. According to the expert, a situation in which the only child leaves the family home may actually force the couple to confront reality. This often puts their relationship to the test.
When my daughter grew up and became independent, I realized that she was the glue that held my marriage together. So empty nest syndrome may have something to do with it. You then wonder if there are enough reasons to continue being together
– Nolan explained. The expert added that the reader’s well-being may also result from the fact that he has not yet tried to work through his traumas, e.g. in therapy. “It sounds like you agreed to forgive her and move on without properly working through the problems,” the expert continued. She added that the situation he described did not indicate that his wife was aware of the seriousness of her actions or that she would make an appropriate effort to repair the damage caused.
If you keep all these negative emotions inside, (…) they will probably explode at some point
– Nolan pointed out.
Marriage therapy
The expert advised the man to undergo couples psychotherapy and to have a frank conversation with his wife about how the letter writer felt. “If she doesn’t agree to it (though she should), seek therapeutic advice on your own. It will take the pressure off you and hopefully help you see a new path – with or without your wife,” she added.
It is worth emphasizing that seeking help from a therapist in a situation such as the one described above may be fundamental for our mental condition. If we cannot cope with the emotions resulting from various experiences, it is best not to delay and seek help from a specialist as soon as possible.
Source: Gazeta
Bruce is a talented author and journalist with a passion for entertainment . He currently works as a writer at the 247 News Agency, where he has established himself as a respected voice in the industry.
