It is about the so-called – unfortunately – gaining more and more popularity. caspering. It is called differently – some people call it “friendly” or “friendly” ghosting, others call such behavior cowardice or running away. In many cases, any signs of caspering may herald the imminent end of the relationship.
Psychology describes a similar phenomenon in relation to employment. The so-called “quiet quitting” means that the employee – although theoretically he does not signal his intention to leave the company and continues to perform his duties – stops trying. He shows no initiative in taking action, does the absolute minimum, and is not emotionally involved in his duties. He does not take up, or even avoids, new challenges and is not willing to take responsibility for more important, ambitious projects.
He stopped calling, replying to messages, doesn’t ask how you are? This could be caspering
So caspering is basically the same thing. However, it takes place at the level of interpersonal relations. If, for example, your relationship is still ongoing, but you clearly feel that your partner has moved away from you, is not committed to your relationship, does not take the initiative, does not discuss your future together, is not interested in you, etc. . – you may be a victim of caspering.
People who display this attitude simply do not have the courage to end the relationship. Therefore, they decide to become more and more passive in order to finally force the other party to leave. It is a gradual resignation, leaving the relationship. It should be noted that this type of ghosting is very hurtful to the other party. It leaves it in the sphere of guesses and intuitions that are not clear. It makes her feel anxious, insecure and often negatively affects her self-esteem. It is also a lack of respect for her time, which she could spend on self-development, establishing another, deep relationship, or both at the same time.
Caspering. An unpleasant dating trend is becoming more and more popular
There are several common signs of caspering. The easiest one to detect is the lack of response – your partner stops calling, answers the phone less and less often during the day, does not respond to our messages, and over time even stops displaying them. He doesn’t ask what’s going on with us, nor does he ask deeper questions when we talk about it ourselves. Such a person does not take any initiative, even a meeting – and when asked, he often excuses himself because he lacks time. It’s clear that she doesn’t care about cultivating and maintaining the relationship.
Since the goal of caspering is to enter into a relationship in a theoretically “conflict-free” way – i.e. quietly, without confrontation – it also begins to become a tactic in dating itself. Instead of making it clear to the other party after one or several meetings that there will be no next one – such a person will simply start gradually limiting contact, replying less often, etc., without explaining his behavior in any way.
Ghosting and caspering. There is a subtle difference
The most characteristic difference between caspering and ghosting is that a given person will not disappear from our lives in a second (in ghosting, contact is broken suddenly, like a plaster – ed.). Some people believe that caspering can be “better” than ghosting because it allows you to gradually get used to the situation. Even among psychologists, you can hear the term “more empathetic” – because the other person can come to terms with the breakdown of the relationship in a less painful and more natural way.
The fact that caspering may be a slightly ‘better’ solution does not mean that it is desirable. In such situations, honesty and communication are always the most important. So if we sense signs of caspering in our relationship, it is worth knowing where we stand – and asking our partner. /partner for a serious conversation. No one wants to live in a lie or in an unhappy relationship, so it should be in the interest of both of you to end the relationship with mutual respect. To close the chapter and be able to move forward, mainly mentally.
Ghosting – what is it?
However, when raising the topic of ghosting, it is worth warning against using this, largely cruel, method of cutting off contacts. Such a step is usually taken without scruples, which has an impact on the other person’s psyche. It may cause, among others: feeling of social isolation, significant decline in self-esteem, complexes, fear of making new friends, fear of trusting someone, anxiety, and in extreme situations even depression.
If we are struggling with the problem of how to end an unsatisfactory relationship, it is best to talk about it with a specialist, psychologist or psychotherapist.
Sources: Poadnik Zdrowie/Onet.pl/Glamour.pl/Vogue.pl
Source: Gazeta
Bruce is a talented author and journalist with a passion for entertainment . He currently works as a writer at the 247 News Agency, where he has established himself as a respected voice in the industry.
