Lifehacker.com.au has decided to help. The service quotes the advice of Mary Spillane, a psychologist and mental health expert of the Headspace App, who presents several effective ways to respond to nosy and tactless comments from relatives.
The specialist recommends, among others, to stick to “safe” topics of conversation that do not cause us unpleasant feelings – if possible, of course. In addition, he advises you to listen to yourself and react to crossing our borders decisively and firmly, but at the same time calmly.
The portal quotes five useful phrases presented by the psychologist. For example, if someone asks a tactless question, “Why are you still single?” then Spillane advises gently confirming the thesis, but at the same time diverting the conversation to another topic:
It is difficult to answer this question. What’s everyone up to for the holidays?
If this attempt to set boundaries is ignored, then the expert recommends expressing your discomfort like this: “I don’t feel comfortable talking about this. Can we talk about something else?”
How do you deal with tactless family questions? Here are five useful phrases
If that doesn’t work either, Mary Spillane points out that you should then make it clear that you have no intention of continuing the conversation:
I will have to leave if this conversation continues
In turn, the psychologist with whom the portal spoke a year ago – Patrick Dixon – advised trying to alleviate family situations by expressing your needs and emotions.
When I hear you say …, I feel … because I value/need …. Would you be willing to …?
– it was written in the given example. If this message is not handled explicitly by family members, then the specialist also suggests setting clear boundaries: “Of course, we disagree. I’d rather change the subject, if you don’t mind.”
Source: lifehacker.com.au
Source: Gazeta
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