Her boss fired her because of spicy books. “He was ashamed to admit that he had read them”

24-year-old Kasia takes a tram to work in a boutique on Marszałkowska Street and reads…

“50 Shades of Grey” of course!

You got this book from a friend.

From a friend from work who just got pregnant and visited me in the store. I was quite skeptical, because not only had I never read romances, but I also had quite a long break from books. Probably since high school and being forced to read books. But Gosia insisted, she said that all the grandmothers read it and I should just look at it. It took a few days before I found out. I picked up this book out of boredom. I was sitting in the store and one day there was absolutely nothing going on. I hit the first hot moment and I was wondering: “what just happened here?!”.

I explain to myself today that it was probably the time when I needed such literature. I was actually riding the tram with flushed cheeks and reading. And I know it’s not an outstanding story, but it convinced me, it was a great distraction from scrolling the internet.

And what did you say to your friend after reading Gray?

When I finished the first volume, I immediately called Gosia and asked: “where is the second part?!”. Because the first one ended in a very dramatic moment and everyone wanted to know what would happen next. I remember that I had to wait two weeks for the premiere of the second part, but I was not idle during that time.

I worked as a bra fitter in the center of Warsaw, on the other side of the street I had Empik. Every evening I ordered books to pick them up in the morning and have something to read at work. In a few months, I read over a hundred stories.

At what point did you decide you wanted to write a book too?

I guess I wasn’t thinking about the book right away. These stories gave me a lot of thoughts and I decided that I had to get them out of my head. I opened a blank text file and described random scenes and thoughts. At the time, I didn’t believe that it might be of interest to anyone, but I started watching various groups of fans of “Grey” and similar books. Girls posted fragments of their stories, poems, links to blogs. For some time I watched and admired for the courage. Finally, one day I took a chance and posted two chapters of the written story. And it went wild.

Did you send those excerpts to the publishers?

It happened on impulse. I got fired from my job.

What for?

The boss just came and fired me. It was a big blow for me because I really liked this job. Choosing the right bra size was a bit of a mission for me. It wasn’t until several years later, when I was already a full-time author, that I found out from my friends about the reasons for my dismissal.

The boss just didn’t like that I was “wasting time” at work instead of working. What he meant was that I was plugging the flash drive into my work computer and typing. My only guess is that he was ashamed to point out to me because he knew what I was writing about. On the other hand, I don’t know what I was supposed to do when there were no customers. Wipe the shelves for the tenth time? Today it amuses me a bit, but back then it was the end of the world for me.

One evening I began to lament. That what should I do now, after all, for the last year I just sat and wrote “some nonsense”. Not only did I lose my job, but I still haven’t written my master’s thesis. On the wave of this despair, I typed “book edition” into Google. A few of the best positioned pages popped up for me, I sent two proposals. I thought: “Okay, let it be, after all, nothing worse will happen to me. At most, they won’t write back.”

But they wrote back.

Yes, and very quickly. After a week, I had a positive opinion. I published my first book with co-financing, I didn’t know then that it could be otherwise. But I was so determined that I simply decided that the most I would do is sink the money. I didn’t drown. It got back to me a long time ago.

Every one of your books has spicy sex scenes. You once said that your family was open, that people talked about such things at home. Still, you haven’t published your first books under your name.

When I published my first book, I already had a large group of readers. We often talked under the fragments that I added on various forums. Haner is the name of my favorite guitarist and was also the inspiration for my debut. In one of the conversations, someone said that since I would never become his wife, I should at least take his pseudonym. I thought then that KN Haner sounds worldly, it was a bit of a form of fun.

On the other hand, I don’t think I wanted everyone to know that it was Kasia from Ciechanów, one of the Nowakowskis who wrote such books. And it turned out that at the time it was a great marketing ploy. Readers who were not convinced about Polish romances reached for me, thinking that I was a foreign author.

It really gave me a lot. Later, I received hundreds of messages in which someone wrote: “I thought you were from America, and you are our Pole.” Anyway, I also started showing my face very quickly, if anyone wanted to, they could find information that I was Kasia from the Nowakowskis from Ciechanów. KN Haner has become a brand for several years, I have already built some achievements for this pseudonym. That’s why I didn’t want to make a revolution later and change it.

Did you show your book to your parents? grandma?

I immediately brought a copy to my parents, which (unfortunately) my grandmother also got hold of. She was almost 90 years old at the time, and she is a Polish philologist. These first books were not well written, and they lacked proper editing. I remember my grandmother asking me where I got it from. I explained that in her time there were harlequins, and this is their modern version. It was enough for her then. After that, she didn’t talk about it for many years, until she ended up in a retirement home and started telling everyone that she had a granddaughter-author.

And made a bookcase with your books?

I don’t dare ask if she lends it to anyone, but for a while she asked me to bring her some copies so that her friends wouldn’t think she was crazy and made up this granddaughter writer. I had a big problem with it, but it turned out that the lady who conducts manual therapy in this place is my reader. And she gave my grandmother my book. Then I had no choice but to bring more copies so that she had something to show and that it was actually her granddaughter on the cover. I know Grandma is very proud and probably read my books, but we didn’t discuss it. I still can’t imagine it.

And mom? How does he review your stories?

When I announced that I was publishing a book, everyone was very happy for half a year, asking what it would be about. But there was some consternation. I didn’t ask everyone what they thought. I don’t even think I want to know what my older brothers think. But I remember that after the release of the second volume, I was sitting with my mother over wine. I could see that she wanted to start an uncomfortable conversation, but she didn’t quite know how. Finally she blurted out: “Where did you get that from?!”.

There was no pretension, more curiosity. Because I never had a crazy sex bomb temper, I didn’t change boyfriends like gloves, so there was nothing to indicate what I would write. Mom wanted to know if the stories I told were true. I remember looking at her and asking her if she thought I might have had an affair with a rock band in the past. She said no and answered all the questions herself. That already explained everything.

The stories I write are not from my life. I’m just describing fantasies. And how someone judges my fantasies is none of my business anymore.

What do readers write to you after reading?

I have a lot of reactions. This literature changes a lot in women’s lives. More than anyone would expect. Women realize, for example, that they have insufficient sex. That they have preferences that they didn’t dare talk about before. Sometimes it comes to them that they live in toxic relationships, that they expect more from life, from themselves and their partner. I also received messages from readers who, after reading, decided to break up or even divorce!

I know that this literature is belittled. It is said that it is for domestic hens, low-flying, that it is simple, unambitious. But who cares? Most importantly, it’s supposed to be fun. And if a woman realizes by the way that she should appreciate herself more – then I can only be happy.

By reacting to your books, Polish women let you into their bed. If you, as a writer, were to make a judgment about the sex life of Polish women, what would you say about it?

They seem to be getting more and more open. Polish women allow more and more promiscuous sex, they use toys. They make love not only in the dark, under the covers, once a month. They buy gadgets, handcuffs, massage oils. It’s very cool. I’m sure they’re getting more and more interesting as well. I feel that these books open their minds. But I would like to emphasize that the most important thing is to talk with your partner anyway. And it’s often not that simple.

Many of us cannot imagine talking about sex even with our husband. We’re afraid of hurting his ego. But, mother of god, it’s not about telling someone they’re weak in bed! It is only important to show your needs, to get along. I know that many women realize this, and later their sex life flourishes.

Adult and mature readers are one side of the coin. On the other side, we have teenage girls who read your books like, “My dick immediately sends a signal to my brain that I want to fuck her. Taste her pussy, which is probably tight, sweet and wet. It’s not me thinking, it’s him.” Is this a good read for teenagers?

I have a problem with it. I know that the market is very specific and my books should appeal to adult readers. Sometimes at book fairs I meet very young people who ask me to sign a copy. And on the one hand I can’t refuse, and on the other I have a bit of a glitch. Because one thing is sex scenes, and another thing is violence.

Unfortunately, I have no influence on that. I communicate my stories to adult readers. I don’t know what I could do with the fact that young people are reaching for them. I’m not a mother, but I think that if I had a child who read books, I would first check what kind of reading it was. And today parents are happy that if he reads anything, it’s cool, let him read. So I think it’s also a matter of control. Certain responsibility of adults for upbringing.

In Poland, sex education is just starting to sprout timidly in schools. This makes it difficult, e.g. Minister Czarnek, who opposes the “sexualization of children” and argues that this sphere should remain private. So kids look for information in other sources. Among them are pornography and “forbidden” books. As an author, do you also feel the responsibility you mentioned?

Yes, but it took me a long time to mature into it. I started writing books when I was 24. Theoretically, I was already an adult woman, but I did not yet realize the responsibility for the written word. The book was fun for me, that’s all. Ever since I got older, I approach it differently. I know what you said is true. And today, I create my romances a little differently. I also try to signal that life is not as it is in these books.

But I am not ashamed of my first books, because I am not ashamed of my work. However, I can say out loud that these are not materials for sexual education and creating your worldview. Today, you can install Tinder and erotic portals with one click. Enter the wrong date of birth and gain access to millions of photos and videos. It’s terrible, I’m terrified of it. Children are victims of overstimulation, and I don’t approve of that. If I were a mother, I would lock my children in a golden cage.

And what would you like to convey to mature Polish women in your work?

To be more open. So that they would not be ashamed, talk to their partner or partner. I know it’s hard, but sex is the lion’s share of a relationship. If it is angry and forced, so that it is over – where is the place for joy and love? Let’s not boil everything down to sex, but there’s no point in pretending it’s not important. If we establish a common language, a lot can change.

If not talking to your partner, then maybe to start with a friend? She may have similar problems, such a discussion may help. So my password is probably: “Polk, talk.”

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Katarzyna Nowakowska is – next to Blanka Lipińska – one of the most read romance and erotic writers. February 8 in Ale! Her new novel, The General Manager, has just been published. It tells the story of the forbidden relationship between Olivia, the assistant of the elderly boss, and Harry, his grandson, who is the heir to a fortune.