Negging affects many people. It gives a sense of power in the relationship, and makes the victim complex

Negging is the manipulation of emotions by ambiguous compliments. The purpose of such behavior is usually to lower the self-confidence of the other person, to tease, and to show them their place in the line.

However, this advice cannot replace a visit to a specialist. If you have any mental health issues, it’s a good idea to consult your doctor.

How to recognize negation?

Negging is one form of emotional manipulation that is difficult to detect at first. We hear such a compliment, and after some time we realize that we are not pleased. It’s usually a taunt mixed with something nice. This makes it hard to stick to anything. Here are some examples of negating:

• You look very nice today. How not you!
• I’m shocked how well you did it. Who helped you?
• Great makeup. It perfectly masks the asymmetry of the face.
• Those extra pounds suit you.
• You’re not Sophia Loren, but you look good in this.

Importantly, people often use these types of methods with full premeditation. In this way, they want to gain an advantage over their victim. While we usually turn a blind eye to such accusations, sometimes it is not so simple. Particularly problematic is the situation when negation appears in a relationship or friendship and it becomes a constant element in communication.

You need to speak out loud about your feelings

If we feel that this problem has appeared in our relationship, it is worth finding out what is causing it. As experts emphasize, it happens that some people are unable to express their feelings openly and this is how they manifest their anger or dissatisfaction.

psychotherapist Zuzanna Butryn advised:

First of all, it is important to note what effect it has on us. The answer to the niggling of a loved one can be simple messages: “It hurts me when you talk to me like that”, “It’s unpleasant for me”, “I don’t want this”. Let us remember that the lack of reaction may contribute to the aggravation of the conflict. Sometimes someone accuses us of not being able to distance ourselves from each other, but we don’t have to do it if we feel hurt. You have to talk, talk out loud about your feelings, whether it’s a friend, partner or anyone else.

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