The psychologist told how to identify abuse and gaslighting by characteristic phrases

Candidate of Psychological Sciences Elena Milto told what tricks people use to manipulate others. Lady.mail.ru writes about it.

Milto listed 7 phrases used by abusers and gaslighters.

“If you hadn’t done it, I wouldn’t have done it,” such people say. According to Milto, in this case, a person shifts the blame to another, substituting cause and effect, manipulating in an attempt to avoid responsibility. As a result, such rhetoric can also turn into justification of physical violence.

“I know better what is good for you and what is not. I’m doing this for your own good.” As the psychologist notes, this harmless phrase can be followed by restrictions of any kind, and a person can eventually become a hostage to his partner.

“You heard! I never said that. And if you did, then you misunderstood.”

“Such phrases are used by the so-called gaslighters. And this is not a fashionable word, but a designation of gross manipulation of the truth, humiliation and depreciation of another person. The main task of a gaslighter is to make you doubt yourself, to suffer, trying to assess the adequacy of your own perception of the world around you or some events. It is the gaslighters who joke and intimidate, smiling at the same time, ”said Elena Milto.

“I have nothing to apologize for. It’s all you yourself, ”the psychologist gives the following characteristic phrase of manipulators. “In this phrase, we see an absolute refusal to admit one’s own wrong, even the exclusion of the possibility of such a fact. Selfishness, avoidance of responsibility, an attempt to impose a sense of guilt on another – this is what a person achieves who says such words to a partner, ”explains Milto.

“No one will tell you the truth, no one cares about you. Only I care about you, and you are ungrateful.” According to the specialist, this is the imposition of alienation, swapping and building one’s own significant role through the humiliation of everyone else. “And it can begin with a seemingly affectionate“ my fool ”,” Elena Milto pointed out.

“It’s you who is so sensitive / emotional / immature, and not me bad,” the psychologist continues to list phrases characteristic of abusers. “When a woman, in response to such a phrase, instead of a clear and firm “It’s impossible with me!” Is silent or mumbles something, as a result, she receives an hourly pool of emotional slaps in the face from such a notorious person nearby,” the expert warns.

“I’m just tired, and here you are with your requests,” Milto notes another phrase familiar to many. “A common story with the justification of one’s own psychological licentiousness, intemperance and the desire to take out dissatisfaction with one’s life on someone who is weaker,” the psychologist comments.

She urged those who recognized themselves in relationships of this kind on both sides to immediately contact a specialist.