The designer Nino Touma says that at 40 years old he is in a calm moment in his life. The harmony that he claims to live motivated him to make his relationship with Edward public. “Meeting my partner and being together has been a healthy, healthy decision for me. I have a peaceful relationship, without having to give answers to anyone, because it does bother me a bit the question of who is that person, I no longer wanted this to happen to me, as it had happened in my previous relationship”, he manifests.
The introduction of your partner, in a post on January 2 on his Instagram profile, it was part of a decision to publicly come out because he claims that he personally was never hidden. “He just didn’t address the issue more directly. Socially and in my life I was never in a closet. I did it publicly as Nino Touma, the character, the designer, which is due to a group of clients, followers, people who love him, what I did was share what I am and stop stigmatizing it as an open secret ”.
His relatives and close friends also found out or there was a confirmation on his part with the publication. “The myth of open silence was broken“, repeat. “Four days before deciding to publish, my mom sent me a text message saying that she knew my condition, what it was and that she would always support me in everything.”
He cataloged this message as “the cruelest of life”. At post He emphasizes that “he has never lived hidden” and that he always handled his sexual orientation with caution until he expected his mother to ask him by her own means, “but it was not like that,” he says.
During almost all his life he did not see the need to announce it, rather he says that he did it from a personal and transparency point of view. “I did not do it as an LGBTI+ (lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, intersex) or progay flag. I did it for many men like me because I have my sexual preference, but I don’t stop liking pants, suits, dress shoes. My tendency is 100% masculine, I wanted to reach people like me”, he emphasizes.
He wants his post itself speak out against stereotypes that also affect members of the LGBTI group. “It was reaching out to the father or mother of any boy who, for having mannered attitudes, and obviously instead of seeking support, will always be ridiculed as the fagot of the family. My message was hey, what are you doing there, give yourself to happiness”, says Nino.
His idea was to break the mental paradigm of the muscular, perfect, tattooed gay, without the opening that a normal person like an engineer, a doctor, a mechanic could also have that sexual orientation.
Nino’s situation is one of the circumstances that arise around the dilemma of making an LGBTI sexual orientation public.
The reactions are diverse. There are those who turn a blind eye without asking, say they accept the sexual orientation of a friend or family member without really accepting it, perceive pain when hearing the news or assimilate it as a fatality.
Víctor Hugo Carreño, editorial director of Cientonce Edition, a digital media outlet focused on LGBTI rights and founded last November, assures that making a same-sex relationship public is not easy in the midst of a macho and homophobic cultural pattern. “It’s a couple’s decision. It’s not mandatory. Of course, this helps visibility. There are people who use the term normalization, with which I do not agree because it would be like normalizing something that is not right.
It is showing a reality, adds Carreño, that helps adolescent members of the LGBTI group to see that these relationships exist and that they are not alone.
However, it is more feasible in the current context to bear the consequences. “This year will mark the 25th anniversary of the decriminalization of homosexuality, a very short time if we take into account the entire democratic era of the country,” says Carreño.
It has been a time in which progress has been made in the construction of regulations and achievements that help guarantee LGBTI rights and avoid discrimination to some extent. “But it’s not like there’s a perfect situation,” he stresses.
An example is the reactions that there are when a well-known character makes his orientation public, such as what a waste or questioning the publication saying that it was already known. “They are homophobic comments because they are heard in a pejorative way.”
Breaking down prejudices is one of the implicit objectives of these public messages, he adds. “But everything will depend on whether this person wants to come out of the closet and how they want to assume it.”
Those who do it is as a way to break with the mandatory paradigms taught from the cradle. “We were raised in this mold and framework of being heterosexual, we have to do it, but in the end each person will have their process. Perhaps some do not make it public because of these bosses and the fear of being even more discriminated against,” emphasizes Carreño.
The fact that someone comes out of the closet for those of us who are activists it is a reason for joysays Danilo Manzano, director of Fundación Diálogo Diverso. “There are heterosexuals who see as novelty and something banal the fact that a person decides not only to make their sexual orientation, identity or gender expression public, but also to tell much more intimate things such as with whom a human being shares their life.”
There is an internalized homophobia, defined as a situation in which the LGBTI members themselves assume as true the negative perceptions that exist in society towards the community of which they would be a part.
Hence the critical reactions for publishing something that for them or others was apparently obvious. “Not because we are homosexuals we are already sensitized in what respect implies. This type of response from other people who, even being part of the LGBTI community, instead of supporting, rather put their finger on the decision, goes hand in hand with this issue of internalized homophobia,” says Manzano.
However, adds Manzano, in Ecuador there is still “a fear of difference, even sometimes in a hypocritical way because they all end up being part of it.”
The right to affection is something that has been relegated to LGBTI, considers Manzano. “Our love was not born to be hidden in a closet. Why do people believe that the relationship between two people of the same gender has to be natural as long as it occurs in the dark or in secrecy? Society has to get used to the fact that the human being who loves and who feels can have the freedom not only to express himself, but also to make himself visible. Walking hand in hand with the person you love is something that should not distinguish sexual orientation within the framework of respect”. (I)
Source: Eluniverso
Paul is a talented author and journalist with a passion for entertainment and general news. He currently works as a writer at the 247 News Agency, where he has established herself as a respected voice in the industry.
