Stress management: the difference between men and women

Work, family, home: the demands of daily life cause stress in many people and women seem to deal with it differently than men.

Stress is literally a permanent problem for many people: According to a YouGov survey carried out during the European spring of 2021, almost 90% of the approximately 3,000 respondents suffered from stress in the previous months.

And what is striking, both in this and in some other surveys, is that the percentage of stressed people is higher among women than among men.

But why is it? Do women react differently? Or are they dealing with the subject more openly? Here are some experts providing their answers.

Professor Birgit Derntl, a researcher at the University Clinic of Tübingen on stress and gender issues, indicates that men and women differ in their reactions to stress.

While releasing the stress hormone, cortisol, is more pronounced in men than in women, the latter deal more openly with this issue. Therefore, women are more likely to admit that they are stressed.

But Derntl believes that another reason for the differences could lie in the design of the surveys themselves. “How and what we ask could trigger gender-specific responses.”

Women tend to react depressed and fearful to stress, while men are more angry and energetic rather than sad and desperate. But all this range of possible answers is not always presented in surveys, explains the researcher.

What is an emotional reaction?

Also the doctor Mirriam Priess observes gender-related differences in these reactions. Priess specialized in psychosomatics and in his office provides advice, among others, on stress management and burnout.

This specialist explains that Behind the stress there is usually a situation of overexertion or a feeling of helplessness.

While women react more emotionally, doubt themselves and cry more frequently, men often reject feeling helpless and they do so by responding aggressively.

Thus, among men stress is perceived more in bodily symptoms, Priess comments, then adding: “But these are just general trends.”

What can stress management depend on

Derntl specifies that, logically, women are not a homogeneous group either. If they are stressed and how they handle it will differ in each case and it will also depend on the menstrual cycle, or if they take birth control pills or if they are pregnant. As with gender-specific differences, research is still required in this area.

The same is true for so-called stressors, stimuli, conditions or situations that generate stress. Derntl states that there is evidence from studies that women feel stressed by other issues than men.

For example, in everyday work life, men feel stressed rather by time pressure or competition, while women are more affected by a bad environment or feeling excluded in a team.

Likewise, being graded and criticized can be stressful for women. According to polls, summarizes Derntl, they react to social stressors.

Lack of respect with oneself

Priess asserts that, although there are differences between the factors that trigger stress and the reactions that they arouse, the The consequence is usually the same for most people, regardless of gender.

“Most of them say to themselves: ‘I have to make it anyway and hang on.’ They just work. ” And this becomes a problem, because “they do not respect themselves and they don’t want to accept their limits”.

But why? Behind this is the fear of rejectionPriess explains. People who treat themselves in this way may, for example, not have been accepted out of hand in childhood, but may have had to do something or have presented an achievement first to be recognized.

“The ‘the way you are, it’s fine’ situation was not experienced by most people in their relationships,” says Priess. And another factor of difficulty is added to women, since they have the feeling that in trades dominated by men they must demonstrate twice as much.

Self-talk can help

But even if the foundation for coping with stress has often been laid as early as childhood, something can still change in adulthood.

Priess recommends internal dialogue. “One should regularly ask oneself: ‘how am I?’ And genuinely take an interest in yourself. “

Naturally, you should respect your response to yourself and behave accordingly, rather than simply overlooking it, if for example you feel overstressed.

Also Derntl recommends admitting first that you are undergoing stress and doing an analysis of it. I mean, wondering what stresses you out. “The answer ‘everything’ is not useful,” clarifies the teacher.

Once the stress factors you have to put them in order: which of them will change or disappear in the near future?

For example, having to meet a deadline is stressful, but it doesn’t have to be negative.

“If stress isn’t something that persists over several months, it may be good for performance,” says Derntl. “If there is an end in sight, stress helps mobilize forces.”

However, what is problematic are stressors that have no culmination in sight. “Women just tend to brood, get into trouble and get caught up in these thoughts,” says Derntl. “This is not effective, it stresses even more.”

In the opinion of this researcher, in some cases only the acceptance of the situation: “Some things that cannot be changed simply must be accepted. Like oneself, for example ”. (F)