How to Survive Policy Talks with Family

Although celebrations such as Christmas and New Years are a reason for family unity, sometimes the opposite effect can be generated due to the conversations that arise in these meetings, especially when issues that generate discrepancy are mentioned.

In addition to religion and football, politics is another of those topics that, if not touched with tweezers, it can cause a heated debate among family members.

But, according to the web portal Psychology Today, through dialectical behavioral therapy we can learn to handle difficult situations without being overwhelmed by emotions. This is very useful in a number of situations and, of course, will be of great help in those meetings in which it is likely that we end up arguing about politics with someone we really love very much.

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Know our limits

Knowing that these types of issues can get us out of hand, Ideally, set a limit and discuss it with others to avoid falling into arguments. “I would like us not to talk about politics over dinner”, can be a phrase with which we let others know that this issue can become a problem.

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If guests violate the limit, it is advised to remind others of our request. Even the so-called Roto-Roto technique can be used, which consists of repeating the message over and over in a calm tone of voice. The power is in the repetition of the message.

Use the dialectic

Dialectic means that two things that seem opposite can be true at the same time, stated in the article.

These are the most important principles of dialectics as described by Rathus and Miller:

• There is always more than one way of looking at a situation and more than one way of solving a problem.
• All people have unique qualities and different points of view.
• Change is the only constant.
• Two things that seem (or are) opposite may be true.
• Honor the truth on both sides of a conflict. This does not mean giving up your securities or selling yourself. Avoid seeing the world in “black and white” or “all or nothing.”

Tips for using dialectics

• Avoid extreme words like “always”, “never” or “you make me.”
• Practice looking at all sides of a situation. Even when we disagree with others.
• Use phrases like “I feel” instead of “You are,” “You should,” or “This is the way it is.” For example: “When I hear you say that, I get angry” instead of “You never listen.”
• Check assumptions. Don’t assume you know what other people think. Check the facts by asking, “What did you mean when you said …?”

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Give priority to the relationship with the person

When this is our goal, We will act with respect and avoid offending the other. For this, two questions can be asked:

• How do I want the other person to feel about me after the interaction?
• What can I do to maintain this relationship?

It is also important to maintain self-respect, act in a way that helps us feel morally good and respecting our own values ​​and beliefs.

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Anticipate difficult situations

Being so important in our lives, politics provokes many complicated emotions. Nevertheless, those emotions can be controlled. Dwrite the situations without prejudice and in objective terms, imagine the conversations (and how we will deal with them) before they happen. Inspire and breathe are some effective tools so that dinner ends with family unity and not the opposite. (I)