There are rules to follow that will help you achieve the success you desire. And it doesn’t matter – in a career, love, friendship, in general in life. Psychologist Steven C. Hayes told Psychology Today about them.
“None of these rules can be called absolute. It is quite normal to break them, even every day. But if you continue to try to live by them, everything turns out much better than when you don’t do this, ”he explained.
1. Think about the process, not just the result. Success is the result of many small steps. But if we focus only on a dream, a goal, then we miss the processes that lead to them. We become impatient, restless, distracted. It is better to learn to enjoy the very process of achieving the goal, turning it into a kind of game.
2. Action is better than inaction. The only way to succeed is to get off the couch and start doing something. “You become a blacksmith forging,” notes the psychologist. If you want to be a famous writer, you need to write, a successful cook – cook, a good friend – help others. Seems like a simple thing. But often people do nothing in life because they are afraid of making a mistake. But the mistake is just that a person does nothing. Better to do and regret than to regret not doing.
3. Say yes more often. This phenomenon is described in the biographical book of Danny Wallace, who spent six months answering people with only “yes”. It was later made into a film with Jim Carrey. His hero enters into an agreement by which he must always say “yes” to any proposal. His whole life changes after that. “Yes, it’s true, you need to say yes more often, even if you are not sure that this is absolutely the right decision. There is always an option to opt out if something goes wrong. But in many cases it is worth agreeing, expanding your “repertoire” and discovering many different experiences, explains psychologist Stephen S. Hayes.
4. Collaborate and share information. People are social animals. We are at our best when we work with others to achieve common goals. Those around you are valuable: they will teach you new things, enrich your life in unexpected ways. Yes, and you yourself should not be greedy, share what you can offer others, the expert advises.
5. Keep your commitments. This is the most important rule of all. Be careful what you promise others, the psychologist recommends.
6. Take responsibility for yourself and your life. When something does not work out, we look for reasons outside, shift it to other people, find excuses. This approach will prevent you from growing and improving on failures. You need to look inside yourself – at your actions. “Even if we are being treated unfairly, it is best to focus on what you yourself can do about it,” explains Stephen S. Hayes.
7. Recognize your strength and behave accordingly. Nelson Mandela said: “Our deepest fear is not that we will be weak and helpless. Our deepest fear is that we will be strong beyond measure.” A successful person recognizes his strength and will vigorously and persistently seek its manifestation.
8. Recognize that life is finite and act accordingly. “We don’t know how long we will live, but we know for sure that it won’t last forever,” says the psychologist. – No matter how much time you have, you need to spend it on something that brings benefit and joy to you. Suppose you have a year left before your death. Do you want to spend time on this particular project? Successful people strive to always be able to answer “yes” to this question.
9. Connect with the best of the best. Without a dialogue of ideas and a vision of what might be possible, success cannot be achieved. But it is worth conducting this dialogue with people who have already achieved success – asking their advice, listening to their opinion. Find people who have something to learn from.
10. Be honest with others. If you are focused only on the result, and not on the process, you can turn onto a dangerous road – start deceiving, setting up, tricking. “If you make a deal with your conscience to achieve the desired result, you will find that everything you want and achieve for you suddenly becomes much less valuable. Instead of enjoying the exciting road to your dream, you will become a machine for the production of means to achieve the goal, ”the psychologist warns.
11. Follow your dream. Be true to yourself in pursuing your goal, even if you have to take risks, make sacrifices, and suffer in some way to achieve it. Create a small safety net, but do not betray what seems important to you.
12. Say no. This is very difficult, but very important. You can’t please everyone, you can’t please everyone. “As you move towards your goal, you will need to learn not to be distracted by the unimportant and unimportant. You’ll have to keep a balance. Learn to say no. Set priorities. Stick to them. And value your time, ”recommends the psychologist.
13. Always answer emails and calls and keep your desktop in order. “This is perhaps the most difficult rule to follow. But you have to try,” summarizes Stephen S. Hayes.
Source: Rosbalt
Mario Twitchell is an accomplished author and journalist, known for his insightful and thought-provoking writing on a wide range of topics including general and opinion. He currently works as a writer at 247 news agency, where he has established himself as a respected voice in the industry.
