Psychologist: The inner critic can poison life, but it can be “turned off”

If a person regularly turns on severe criticism in relation to his thoughts, words and actions, sooner or later he will begin to feel that his self-esteem rushes down. Such a person will inevitably feel defective, inferior and wrong. This leads to misunderstandings in personal relationships, stress at work and the emergence of more and more pitfalls on the way to your goals.

As Doctor Peter writes, Luiza Istomina, a child medical psychologist at the European Medical Center, explained that people who often scold themselves become very sensitive and, to other people’s comments, too, are hard pressed by accusations and refusals. They constantly compare themselves with others and may feel uncomfortable in a team.

According to neuroscientists, there are areas in our brain that are responsible for activating early maladaptive circuits. Such a scheme is understood as a pattern of perception of reality, which was formed in childhood under the influence of some traumatic events. It can work if the current situation resembles events from childhood – then the person will react in exactly the same way as in the distant past in order to cope with negative emotions.

One such regime is the Inner Critic. For example, if parents or school teachers scolded for some kind of mistake, as an adult you begin to criticize yourself, as if replacing them. By scolding ourselves on a regular basis, we cannot feel truly happy.

There are several techniques that help you control the raging critic within yourself.

1. Talk to your critic. Imagine what he looks like and give him a name – you can even draw this eternally disgruntled little man in your head. It helps draw a line between you. Ask him why he considers you narrow-minded, slow, insecure (the list of epithets can be continued), and why he repeats this all the time. He will most likely answer that he only wants to help you so that you can finally become the best version of yourself. Tell him how you feel when you hear such words addressed to you. Anger, resentment, disappointment? Think about whether your inner critic’s remarks have ever made you feel better.

2. Turn on cognitive separation. As soon as derogatory thoughts about yourself appear in your head, do not trust them. Think of it like the weather is about to change. “Well, I look stupid again” – change to “I had the idea that I look stupid again.” It won’t upset you that much, trust me. Because some subjectivity appears in the statement – which means inaccuracy.

3. Be kind to yourself. Think of yourself as a close friend and try to be supportive in difficult times or times of weakness. Would you “finish off” your girlfriend with claims, who had a “black streak” in her life? Promise yourself to get through it all, take a break, and give small gifts if you need to breathe. Praise yourself for any accomplishments, no matter how small.