Can you refuse to be godmother? Ewa regrets not having done it. “The fact that I do not have a husband outraged the priest”

For many people, the role of godmother or godfather is a great honor. However, this is not a rule. After all, being a godparent is not only about holding a baby for baptism and giving gifts. It is primarily watching over his religious upbringing. And it was this last aspect that motivated Agnieszka to refuse to be the godmother of her sister’s son.

– That would be hypocrisy on my part. How can a person who has not been to church for several years be a godmother? – our interlocutor wonders. – I couldn’t imagine that I would suddenly go to confession and ask the priest for a certificate. That’s why I honestly told my sister that I didn’t see myself in this role. Fortunately, she did not blame me for it and understood my doubts – explains Agnieszka.

“The innuendo began right away”

In turn, Ewa, who three years ago became the godmother of her cousin’s daughter, regrets that she decided to take this step. As he emphasizes, he believes in God, but does not identify himself with the institution of the Catholic Church at all. A visit to the priest who was to give her a certificate before baptism confirmed her beliefs.

– I was 30 at the time. The fact that I do not have a husband yet outraged the priest. How is this even possible? Immediately there were insinuations that I probably live with my boyfriend without a wedding. When I said that I am single and I live with my best friend, the priest looked at me as if I was crazy – says Ewa. – It was a very unpleasant meeting. From the current perspective, I regret that I agreed to be a godmother – summarizes our interlocutor.

“In another situation, I would be delighted”

How to refuse to be godfather or godmother? The case arouses a lot of emotions. On we can find a discussion on this topic. The author of the thread reveals that she does not want to take on this role due to financial problems. – In another situation, I would be delighted, because it is an expression of trust, after all, we are not a family, so I would feel all the more distinguished. For now, I feel trapped … – he explains.

There was a lot of advice in the discussion under the post. Some have shared their experiences. Some of the entries are:

And can’t you just, like here, explain to this boy’s mom why you possibly don’t want to be a godmother? The mere refusal, for no reason, can be upsetting …

I refused to be the godmother in the family twice, as a young girl, when I was baptized and confirmed, but I considered myself a non-believer, and certainly a so-called non-practicing. I will not say that it was accepted with understanding. But that’s right, I think it matters less than a clear conscience.

I also became a godmother when I was young – under pressure from my parents. I believe that if you have any doubts – it is worth mentioning it right away. Because the worse thing is self-deception. This is a lifetime decision.

According to the old customs, it was not proper to refuse to be godparents. At that time, it was forbidden to even talk about your doubts. However, contemporary savoir-vivre is much more liberal on this point. If we do not want to take on this role, we can refuse. However, it would be good to give reasons for your decision, so as not to upset anyone.