As parents, we can have a huge impact on building confidence in our maturing daughters. From an early age, it is worth telling children about what they are important, valuable, loved and accepted, regardless of everything. Young A person should be sure that a parent is a safe haven where you can stop, get shelter and understanding. If at earlier stages we guarantee them such confidence, the more difficult it will be to destroy it when the child begins to mature.
What messages will strengthen self -confidence and self -esteem?
It is also worth teaching children that thoughts are not facts. – In our ebook “hello body for a parent” fantastic examples in this area are given by Paulina Stępień. I encourage you to familiarize yourself with this publication – says Sefania Kumor, an expert of the Foundation Hello Body, midwife, sexologist, one of the authors of the ebook. So what messages should we send our maturing daughters as parents to strengthen their confidence and self -esteem? As Stefania Kumor explains, in her opinion it is definitely worth paying attention to several key areas:
- Strengthening self -acceptance, for example: “You don’t have to prove anything to anyone – you are valuable as you are”;
- Supporting self -confidence, for example: “You may have your own opinion and you don’t always have to agree with others”;
- Modeling a good relationship with the body, for example: “Your body is great, because thanks to it you can run, swim, dance and do all the things that give you such pleasure in your life” or “It’s nice to take care of yourself to feel good in your own body, not to please other people”;
- Encouraging independent thinking and making your own decisions, for example: “You can say ‘no’, even if you have previously approached an idea with enthusiasm
- encouraging to take on new challenges, for example: “I am proud/proud that you are trying new things and you do not be discouraged that at first it does not work out a bit. Science is a process and this process can teach you a lot.”
The expert adds that it is also worth remembering about messages that parents send themselves. Young people are excellent observers of reality, they sense falsehood and are aware of our hypocrisy. And, what is important, they are formed by imitating and browse in their own parents as in the mirror. “If the girl hears the words of her mother” I gained weight again! “,” But I’m hopeless! “,” It didn’t work out again “, it is hard to expect from her that she will have a good opinion about herself,” Stefania Kumor says.
Such girls may be more prone to doubt in themselves
As our interlocutor notes, It is very important what the girls heard every day before they entered puberty. It is worth paying attention to whether carers strengthened their self -esteem from an early age, or noticed their good character traits, skills and minor successes.
If a small child has developed, with the help of adults, self -confidence in childhood, it is more difficult to demolish them during puberty. – A girl with her own self -esteem was built only on the basis of appearance can have greater tendency to doubt herself when she begins to mature. This is certainly influenced by the lack of knowledge of your own body and physiological processes – says Stefania Kumor.
As the expert notes, another factor appears here, i.e. comparison. – It can lead to discomfort, uncertainty and a sense of alienation. During the adolescence, girls may notice that their body is different from the idealized image created by social media, and this can also upset self -confidence. Unfortunately, they are still taught that they should be nice, submissive and adapt to the expectations of others. This can lead to suppressing your own opinions and giving up assertiveness.
Stefania Kumor also draws attention to some important issue. – Girls from whom in the process of socialization required perfection, during puberty, they may feel fear of failure and mistake, Which can translate into disbelief into your own abilities, avoiding challenges, and thus lowering self -esteem and a sense of agency. Aspects such as hate, peer violence and comments about the appearance are not without significance – he emphasizes.
How does this affect the further stages of life?
Lack of adequate support in childhood and adolescence may translate into many aspects of life, but above all to relations with each other and with other people, to build bonds, to difficulty taking care of your own interests, to satisfaction with life and sex life. – In my opinion, everything starts and ends with education, Because if a girl in childhood did not get the right support of carers, as well as appropriate education about her own physiology (especially in the context of the changing body), then she will either have to work on this at a later stage of life on her own, or, if she does not have such awareness, means and possibilities, he will remain a person who is uncertain of himself, his own beliefs and decisions – notes Stefania Kumor.
And, he adds, such people more often agree to something against themselves, in fear of rejection. If they do not have a strong self -esteem, this value depends on other people. Therefore, for fear or fear of independence, some women will remain in unsatisfactory relationships or in relationships in which violence occurs, both physical and mental.
Expert’s appeal: Let’s not underestimate this
All these aspects are combined with each other, because the lack of confidence and self -esteem affects mental and physical health. Low self -esteem can combine with emotional problems, and these in turn increase the risk of depressive states, depression, and eating disorders.
– If we are the parents of a girl who enters the period of puberty or is in it, and we notice that she has a shaking self -esteem, let’s not underestimate it. Let’s strengthen them and not let such a young person believe their own thoughts and beliefs about themselves. If we can’t do it ourselves, let’s trust psychotherapists who have the right knowledge and tools that allow you to see the matter in a different light. Thanks to this, we can help our daughters so that they live a bit easier at a later stage – says Stefania Kumor.
Source: Gazeta
Bruce is a talented author and journalist with a passion for entertainment . He currently works as a writer at the 247 News Agency, where he has established himself as a respected voice in the industry.
