It helps people decide whether they want to have children. Here is her advice

More and more people are trying to make a conscious decision to have a child. In potential parents, there are often fears related to how they would look like their life after appearing in the world of a new family. Psychologist Ann Davidman works with couples that do not know if you want to have children. Here is her advice.

The decision to have a child is one of the most important decisions we make in life. Finally, bringing a new existence to the world and shaping it from scratch is a huge responsibility. Couples who report to Ann Davidman often have doubts whether parenthood is their destiny. “I’m afraid I will lose my partner because he would like to have children and I’m not sure. That in a few years I will regret that I did not decide on a child, “he hears in the office. The expert emphasizes that Although people often seem to be alone in their fears, they happen more often than we expect.

How to decide on pregnancy?

At the beginning, Ann Davidman noted that making a decision to have children or life in a childless family An individual decision of each person and we should not be guided by what society or family says. Then she explained that some have the impression that they were stinged in a deadline, because they also think about what they want and what decision they should make.

“You may want to become a parent, but for various reasons you do not do it. You can also realize that you wanted to have children, but you did not do it because at a given moment you had a different plan for life” – she noted. According to her, the best solution is to focus on her desire, not on the decision and its consequences. Then, in several points, she mentioned activities that can help resolve this issue.

Give up the child’s topic for several months

According to her, this topic should be abandoned for several months. Do not talk about him either with a partner or family or friends. The next step is to accept that we cannot make a decision and realize that this is not our fault. The expert pointed out that it makes no sense to make the list “for” and “against”.

Instead, she suggested that Make a list of three good decisions that we have made spontaneously recently. Then she recommended to describe the accompanying feelings. “This is a feeling that you should experience when you make the decision ‘yes’ for parenthood or’ yes’ for childless life, ‘she noted.

According to her, it can also help save the continuation of the sentence: “He always thought that my life would look like …”. Then she added to write how we feel when reading her notes. The next stage of the exercise is to make a decision “yes” for having/raising a child. “Live with this decision for five days. At this time, write about what you feel every day,” she clarified. Then repeat the exercise, this time with a “yes” decision for life without children. After this period, there may be conclusions that will help you be sure that we chose rightly.

Source: Gazeta

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