The narcissist rubs his dirty shoes on the altar of your emotions. Due to the fact that he is completely devoid of empathy, he does not even notice that he is harming anyone. Even if he notices it, he doesn’t care. He doesn’t care. If there are children in the marriage, their presence does not prevent him from organizing inn brawls for no reason. Without any objective reason, of course. A terrible thing had happened in his eyes: for a moment, the attention was not on him.
“In his opinion, the therapist should find the solution”
A narcissist may even go to a psychologist, but only to try to find a way to create a relationship while remaining a narcissist. According to the narcissist, the therapist should find a solution, but this assumes that he himself will not change. During a therapeutic session with a narcissist, a psychologist usually makes a shopping list in his head or plans what he will do for dinner when this nightmare is over. You can’t stand an hour with someone who is so self-absorbed that they don’t even notice the other person’s presence. The therapist’s alternative to the shopping list could be a nap, but then there is little risk that it will be a free hour if the narcissist leaves without paying, unless, as usual, self-absorbed, he does not even notice that the therapist is sleeping. I estimate the chances at fifty-fifty.
Never enough
Breaking up with a narcissist is difficult and painful. It sometimes happens that the strongest players also suffer from low self-esteem, even after a short relationship with a narcissist. In this relationship they are always too red, too stupid, too thin, too bland. Please forgive me for being literal, but in such relationships the bust is always too small and the “back” is too cold. I tried to soften that vulgar saying as much as possible. However, it is difficult to be gentle with a narcissist. Here the biggest guns always come out on top.
The manipulative skills of a narcissist can push anyone to the edge. As a rule, down-to-earth spouses in a relationship with a narcissist question even the smallest decisions. They doubt their judgments. They begin to believe that there is something wrong with them and they unthinkingly submit to tyranny. It is therefore difficult to leave such a relationship, and it is especially difficult to leave with your head held high. The narcissist will try to convince you that you haven’t pulled it off yet again. Once again, it’s because of you that something is falling apart. Breaking up is further proof of your hopelessness. You failed to keep a guy by your side again, and yet he loved you like no one had ever loved you before. Because it’s obvious that a woman’s only goal should be to catch a guy and keep him with her. There are no other values than this. As long as he drinks, as long as he beats, as long as he is…
A breakthrough moment
Spouses in a relationship with a narcissist are like heated frogs. By the time they realize it’s too hot, it’s too late to escape. They no longer have the strength to jump out of the boiling pot. Weakened spouses usually find the strength to leave only when the narcissist becomes a significant threat to the child or children. The harm to a child becomes this symbolic and groundbreaking burn with boiling water, which frees the victim from the tormentor’s clutches and allows him to jump out of the cauldron. Nothing motivates like a parent’s love for a child. You will endure a lot towards yourself, but you will not allow an innocent being to suffer.
In a dispute with a narcissist, the most important thing is not to engage in a discussion, but to stick to the chosen direction. Talking won’t change anything here. A narcissist won’t change. A narcissist won’t understand. A narcissist won’t take anything to heart because he has no heart. A narcissist also has no fear, which is why he sometimes chooses a person stronger than himself as a victim. Of course, this is a subconscious choice, because no one is stronger than a narcissist – according to him.
Breaking up with a narcissist
A narcissist is like a raven. The raven is the only bird that can attack an eagle. She lands on his neck and pecks him in the head. The eagle knows that there is only one method against the raven. It must rise so high that the raven no longer has enough oxygen to breathe. Only then will he be free from it. It’s the same when breaking up with a narcissist, at every stage. At every stage of the breakup, you have to be an eagle. Your psychologist must be an eagle. Your lawyer must be an eagle. Your coach must be an eagle. Then you too will have a chance to be an eagle.
Your lawyer must know that any information from a narcissist is an attempt at manipulation. A narcissist does not negotiate to settle something. He negotiates to be in contention, because contention is his food. He negotiates to feel like he’s still in the game. A narcissist will always tell you, or at least write, that your lawyer is so hopeless, but who could you choose if you are hopeless yourself? If you block a narcissist from having access to you, he or she will arrange a series of meetings with mutual friends to tell them how crap you, your lawyer, psychologist, or even your doctor are. Even if he gets a divorce declaring his guilt and goes to live under a bridge, he will tell everyone what a loser you are, how you failed again, how he left you crying, with nothing… As long as it hurts you, he still has control over you. authorities.
Be like an eagle
Don’t listen, when you hear it, don’t take it personally, and if it doesn’t work out, quickly forget it. You can only defeat a narcissist by not paying attention to him. Will this change him? Of course not, but he will stop hitting you. He will transfer his identity disorder to another victim.
Be like an eagle.
You can’t defeat a narcissist by wishing him ill. This is the energy he feeds on. Wish him well, wish him love and wisdom. If she loves and thinks wisely, the whole world will benefit from it. Do I believe what I am writing? I want to believe that my thesis that a narcissist will not change can, in exceptional and favorable circumstances, be refuted. But just in case – be like an eagle. Take him on a trip to the impossible. First, take him on a trip to court for divorce, child custody, and property division. Take care of what you can control and leave his/her fate in his/her hands.
You don’t have to be responsible for him anymore. You don’t have to be responsible for it anymore.
Be like an eagle.
Magdalena Dąbrowska, legal advisor, creator of the ‘Good Divorce’ program private archive
Source: Gazeta
Bruce is a talented author and journalist with a passion for entertainment . He currently works as a writer at the 247 News Agency, where he has established himself as a respected voice in the industry.
