“Reindeer” is a series that shocked viewers around the world. It tells the story of the traumatic experiences of comedian Richard Gadd, who played himself, but under a different name. The man had been harassed for years by the stalker Martha (in reality it was Fiona Harvey, who recently gave her first TV interview), who was completely ruining his life step by step. Since the comedian told his story “on screen”, the topic of stalking and its victims has returned and once again become the subject of social discussion. It turns out that in Poland we are dealing with a lot of similar cases.
There are thousands of “reindeers” in Poland every year – we learn from the press release sent to us. “Only one detective agency handles nearly 100 stalking cases a year. The case is serious because it is not always aggressive stalking. Sometimes persistent messages, showing up outside work, contact with the family and relatives of a person who does not want us to have such contact are enough. “The stalking that detectives most often encounter is of a matrimonial nature. Sometimes the stalkers are even former spouses or people with whom the victim has never had any contact,” we read.
“Reindeer” in Poland? One hundred people fall victim to stalking every year
Private detective and debt collector Małgorzata Marczulewska emphasizes that the problem is serious. – The number of cases of persecution and stalking is increasing. We need to redefine this as a society. Stalking does not have to be aggressive to arouse our anxiety, make us feel threatened and uncomfortable. Each year, our detective agency receives nearly 100 stalking cases. Many of them are cases considered by the police as not worthy of intervention, he says.
The detective explains that stalking may concern the so-called romantic relationships, but not only. Sometimes family or work issues come into play. Sometimes it also happens that the person experiencing stalking does not know their stalker. And sometimes it turns out to be an ex-husband, a friend or a colleague.
This is a very democratic phenomenon, because we have many cases of persecuted women, but there are also persecuted men
– says Marczulewska.
“The person she helped harassed her for months.”
The detective knows exactly what he is talking about because he has been helping stalking victims for years. – There are a lot of harassed women in Poland. And most often, stalking in their case concerns the sphere of love. Sometimes these are former partners, and sometimes these are people with whom the victim has only talked or met once. For example, the woman did not want to continue the relationship, but the man had completely different plans – she adds in an interview with Kobiet.gazeta.pl.
And she recalls a case in which she consulted. She was approached by a woman who simply decided to help someone – a similar example to “The Reindeer”. She responded to an ad on Facebook. She was supposed to deliver someone a needed item that she no longer used.
She went to the agreed meeting place and encountered a stalker. The person she helped then harassed her for months. She had to change her phone numbers and home addresses many times, and it didn’t help. Because the stalker kept finding her, using various methods. And continued the harassment
– recalls Małgorzata Marczulewska.
Another example is the situation of a woman who was already at the end of her strength. She came to Małgorzata Marczulewska after her third suicide attempt. She met her stalker several times – without knowing what his tendencies were. She didn’t want to continue the relationship.
He recorded her on many occasions without her knowledge and then harassed her. To such an extent that he edited a pornographic film with her participation using deep-fake technology and posted it on YouTube as non-public material. He threatened to expose him to her family and friends if she did not meet with him
– Marczulewska tells us.
She lived near Szczecin. She had to flee to Poznań, then to Przemyśl
The next story concerns a woman currently living near Szczecin.
She dated a boy for half a year, and she finally left him because he was physically abusive to her. He harassed her so much that she first moved to Poznań and later to Przemyśl. She was still vulnerable to his attacks. She already had a new partner, with whom she became pregnant and could not function normally. He was stalking her. He followed her step by step, asked her friends, looked for her family members. Her parents had a business, she was exposed to it day and night. There was no way he wanted to let go.
A stalking nightmare can begin on a seemingly innocent first date. The detective advises to always remain vigilant. Especially when we meet someone for the first time online.
“When you receive a bouquet of flowers from your ex-partner twice a week, you may feel uncomfortable”
– One of our clients made an appointment with a man. After two dates, she decided not to continue the relationship. The man wrote over a hundred messages to her on Facebook and Instagram, visited her around the block, asked her why she didn’t want to give him a chance. He would get mad in the evenings if he didn’t see her all day or if she ignored him. He called her names, wrote vulgar messages in which he insulted her, and in the morning, as if nothing had happened, he wrote to her “good morning”. The woman could not find peace for several months, says Marczulewska.
Another client broke up with her partner, and he became so maniacal about her that he wrote not only to her, but to her friends, acquaintances, and parents. He visited her at work, asked her friends if she had any relationships with other men, and wrote messages full of regret, disappointment and accusations of betrayal to his former partner’s Facebook friends. This situation lasted for a year. How is this possible? The man was never aggressive. However, he was depressing, and his despair caused his former partner to almost suffer a nervous breakdown (…) Believe me, when we receive a bouquet of flowers from our former partner at work twice a week, we may feel uncomfortable.
– I asked one of the clients who complained about stalking: why didn’t you block this man on Facebook or Instagram? She couldn’t answer. Another, however, directly admitted that she added more photos and stories to Instagram so that her former, very jealous partner knew how good her life was. This behavior provoked him into contact and, at one point, very dangerous behavior – notes detective Marczulewska.
Stalking victims are afraid to ask for help
Very often, not only his direct victims, but also people closely related to them are exposed to dangerous actions on the part of a stalker. If a person is in a relationship, the harassment usually extends to their partner. These are extremely problematic matters that can drag on for years. The police usually do not undertake to conduct them. Why? Because Polish law does not define what exactly we mean by stalking.
You go to the police and say: ‘Someone is standing in front of my house.’ And the policeman asks: ‘What are they doing?’ ‘Nothing, they are standing.’ This person standing in front of your house is supposed to put pressure on you so that you are afraid. leave the house. However, under the law she is not committing a crime. She is not doing anything for which she could be arrested. So the police, even if they receive such a report, will not investigate the case Stalkers. You can, of course, come and identify the person, but that’s where the police’s work ends. And that’s why these cases are so difficult, because stalkers often know how to act so as not to leave any traces. They become depressed. they have suicidal thoughts. They don’t know where to seek help
– explains Marczulewska. – Additionally, especially if we are talking about the intimate sphere, harassed people are often ashamed to seek help. They are afraid to go to the police or to a detective. Or even tell someone in your family about it – says our interlocutor.
– The stalker aims to destroy us mentally so much that we succumb to him. I know from experience that a stalker will give up when he finds a new victim. And this is how it usually happens. He doesn’t stop his actions, just change the object of harassment – explains the detective. He adds that we have a problem in Poland because there are no regulations that would force such people to undergo psychiatric examinations.
I am a victim of stalking. What to do?
However, you should definitely not sit idly by. “Every case of stalking should be reported to the police or private detectives. Stalkers should not be ignored. They should not be provoked into aggressive or difficult to control behavior. They are usually unpredictable people, so we cannot be sure how they will behave, and unfortunately There were situations when jealousy caused tragedies,” we read in the press release.
First things first. What if we just realized that we are the victim of stalking? The first step, as Małgorzata Marczulewska explains, should be to go to the police and file a report. Even if the officers refuse to initiate action, there must be a trace of the notification – this is very important.
Another thing is limiting the use of social media as much as possible. For some time, we should refrain from publishing posts, photos (especially those that may reveal our whereabouts), or making new friends. If the harassment continues, Małgorzata Marczulewska advises change of place of residence. And the most important: tell your relatives and specialists about your problem. Don’t be afraid to get help.
If we still fall victim to stalking, we should seek help as soon as possible, for example from a detective agency that has already dealt with similar cases. We should also go to a psychologist. To people who are able to help us
– underlines. He adds that the external perspective is important here. – If a matter affects us directly, we are often unable to find a rational solution ourselves and realistically assess the situation – says our interlocutor.
You need help?
If you need to talk to a psychologist, you can call 800 70 2222. ITAKA Foundation psychologists are available by phone, e-mail and chat, providing advice and directing callers to the appropriate help facility in their region. Relatives of people who require help can also contact the Center. Specialists will advise you on what to do to encourage your loved one to contact a specialist.
If you are experiencing difficulties and are thinking about taking your own life or want to help someone at risk of suicide, remember that you can use the free help numbers:
Support Center for Adults in Mental Crisis: 800-70-2222
Helpline for Children and Youth: 116 111
Emotional support phone number for adults: 116 123
Below you will find more information on how to help yourself or others, as well as contacts to organizations helping people in crisis and their loved ones.
If suicidal thoughts or a suicide attempt are life-threatening, for immediate crisis intervention, call the police on 112 or go to the emergency department of your local psychiatric hospital.
Are you experiencing domestic violence? Are you looking for help? You can, for example, contact the National Emergency Service for Victims of Domestic Violence “Blue Line”. The free hotline is open 24 hours a day at 800 12 00 02. More information can be found at
If there is a threat to life, call the emergency number 112.
Source: Gazeta
Bruce is a talented author and journalist with a passion for entertainment . He currently works as a writer at the 247 News Agency, where he has established himself as a respected voice in the industry.
