Znak Publishing House will publish the book “The Life You Want. The Art and Science of Reaching for Happiness” in February. Its authors are Oprah Winfrey and Arthur C. Brooks – a Harvard professor who professionally studies happiness. As they argue, happiness is not a star from the sky, but something that each of us can reach for. Based on the latest scientific research and experiences from their own lives, they show what we can do now to feel happier, instead of waiting for what fate will bring. Thanks to the courtesy of Znak Publishing House, we are publishing a fragment of the book.
Albina’s secret
Albina Quevedo, my mother-in-law, whom I loved like my own mother, was lying in bed in the small apartment in Barcelona that she had occupied for seventy years. The modest decor of the bedroom never changed: on one wall there was a painting depicting the Canary Islands, where Albina was from, and on the other – a simple crucifix. She was in such an environment twenty-four hours a day; since she had fallen two years earlier, she had been in constant pain and was unable to get up or walk on her own. She was ninety-three years old and knew she didn’t have much time left.
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Her body was weak – but her mind was fully functional, and her memory brought back many vivid memories. She talked about the past decades, about the times when she was young, healthy, when she got married and started her dream family. She recalled parties and fun on the beach with friends who had died before her. She laughed, remembering that happy past.
“How different my life looks today,” she said. She turned her head on the pillow and stared out the window for a long moment, lost in thought. “But I’m much happier today than I was then,” she added, turning back around.
She noticed the surprise on my face, so she explained: “I know it sounds weird that my life looks sad today, but it’s the truth,” she said with a smile. “As I get older, I’ve learned the secret to becoming happier.”
I was all ears. I sat by her bed and Albina recalled the bumpy roads of her life. As a little girl, in the 1930s, she experienced the bloody Spanish Civil War. She had to hide, she was often hungry, she saw death and suffering. Her father was arrested and spent years in prison simply because he served as a field doctor on the losing side of the conflict. And yet, despite all these events, Albina always perceived her childhood as happy, because her parents loved her and each other – and it was this love that remained her strongest memory. And speaking of love, the man who shared a cell next door to her father in prison introduced her to her future husband.
However, these were only nice beginnings. Only later did Albina experience real problems. After several good years of marriage and the birth of three children, her husband turned out to be different than she thought: he left her with the children, without alimony. Poverty, sadness and loneliness began, as well as the difficulties of raising children on her own – she was increasingly unsure whether she would be able to stay afloat.
For several years she felt lost and unhappy, and came to the conclusion that a happier life was unattainable for her, because fate had dealt her terrible cards. Almost every day she looked out the window of her small apartment and cried.
And it would be hard to blame her. The poverty and loneliness that made her life so miserable were not her fault after all: fate had decided for her, and she saw no way to change it. She was sure that until circumstances changed, she would be unhappy and a better life was impossible.
She decided to take matters into her own hands
Yet one day, when Albina was forty-five, something happened. For reasons that her friends and family didn’t understand, her perspective on life changed. No, she didn’t suddenly feel less lonely, she didn’t have more money – and yet for some reason she stopped waiting for the world to change and decided to take matters into her own hands.
The most obvious change she made was enrolling in college. She wanted to become a teacher. It wasn’t easy. Studying day and night, with students half her age, while raising children seemed exhausting – but it turned out to be the beginning of her new life. After three years, Albina graduated from college at the top of her year.
She began a new career in a job she loved, teaching in a low-income neighborhood where she served children and families living in poverty. She became a new person, was able to support her children with her own money, and met friends she fell in love with. They were with her until her last days, and at her funeral they were not ashamed of tears.
They never separated again
More than a decade later, Albina’s unpredictable husband wanted to come back to her, but they never formally divorced. She considered the offer and took him back – not because she had to, but because she wanted to. Her husband discovered that during the fourteen years of his absence, Albina had completely changed: she was stronger and – it cannot be denied – happier. They never separated again, and he too changed a lot, caring for her lovingly for the rest of his life. He died three years earlier. “We were happily married for fifty-four years,” Albina said. “Formally, sixty-eight years of marriage minus the fourteen unhappy ones,” she specified.
And now she was ninety-three years old. Circumstances again limited her, but her joy did not fade – it even increased! I wasn’t the only one who noticed it, everyone admired how her happiness increased with age. What was her secret? What does it take to take a completely new path at the age of forty-five, start a new, better life – and become happier and happier for almost the next five decades?
Source: Gazeta
Bruce is a talented author and journalist with a passion for entertainment . He currently works as a writer at the 247 News Agency, where he has established himself as a respected voice in the industry.
