“When I come home for the holidays, I avoid the topic of politics like the plague.” How to talk at the holiday table?

The Christmas Eve table should be associated with family warmth, closeness, happiness and openness. Unfortunately, reality often looks different in Polish homes. Somewhere between borscht and dumplings, there are arguments about politics, sharp exchanges of opinions, convincing each other to be right, uncomfortable questions and annoying comments. The New Community Foundation has prepared a guide on how to talk at the Christmas table.

– Christmas is a time of reconciliation. We are very different in our families – it is not about pretending that these differences do not exist. We want to show that we can live with them – if we have respect and kindness for each other. In the guide, we show how to do it in our homes to make the upcoming holidays easier – emphasizes Wawrzyniec Smoczyński from the New Community Foundation.

Christmas and uncomfortable topics. “The dumplings stuck in my throat”

– When I come home for the holidays, I avoid the topic of politics like the plague. I have the impression that nothing divides us as much as power. Last year the argument got so bad that after dinner I packed up and got in the car. I returned to Warsaw because I was fed up, says 25-year-old Agnieszka. – The worst conversation was about how my brother and his wife were undergoing infertility treatment and trying to have a baby, and my mother-in-law kept bringing up this topic literally every half hour. And it’s about treatment, and it’s a pity that they try so hard and nothing happens, what poor people. The dumplings stuck in my throat – adds Maciek.

Sometimes difficult topics cannot be avoided. However, the authors of the guide note that there is no point in spending too much time on it – but once it has surfaced, it is worth looking for a common language. Talk in a way that won’t quarrel. Because there will be differences in the family anyway.

How to talk at the holiday table?

The New Community Foundation has a recipe for saving the Christmas atmosphere. First, discuss the rules with your family. Emphasize that this is a safe space where you do not want to argue and everyone has space to express their own views. At the same time, no one can force others to accept their views. When a difficult topic comes up, have everyone take turns saying what they think. Don’t interrupt, don’t judge. Listen with curiosity. Don’t criticize, just ask, for example: When did you start thinking like that? Moreover, instead of attacking, say: “It’s different. I think…”. Finally, talk about what unites you.