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What is the success of a successful marriage? John Gottman is an American psychologist who has been analyzing relationships for 40 years. Based on his professional experience, he is able to predict divorces and assess the stability of relationships. After numerous conversations with couples, he created a guide in which he revealed 7 rules for a successful marriage.
1. Updating your world maps
Top of the list was updating your world maps. Gottman pointed out that people change over time. It’s worth being interested in yourself and talking about your current interests, dreams and plans. Showing interest in your partner gives you a sense of mutual care and builds closeness.
2. Showing affection and admiration for your partner
The next point is to show sympathy and admiration for your partner. There is nothing worse for a relationship than disrespect for your partner. Showing that we see the other half’s efforts and actions and that he is a valuable and important person in our eyes is very important for success in a relationship.
3. Turning towards each other instead of against each other
Sometimes couples face various difficult situations. It is important not to turn against each other, but to stand behind each other. Remember that anything can be overcome if you are in this together. Be with each other, listen to each other and support each other when you see that the other person needs your support.
4. Solving problems together and dealing with disputes
Conflicts in relationships are necessary to build and develop them. However, it is important to find an agreement. Talk about difficult situations with understanding and tenderness. Try not to let your emotions take precedence over your common sense and prevent them from being able to divide you.
5. Building a sense of community
The lack of common interests and topics for conversation kills relationships. It is important to nurture the relationship through shared rituals, striving for common goals, realizing common dreams and making plans for the future. This will help keep the fire going.
6. Accepting differences and conflicts
It happens that partners differ from each other in terms of worldviews. Then, instead of focusing on what you disagree with, accept those differences. Everyone has the right to their own beliefs and this should not inflame conflicts. Look for ways to accept these differences.
7. Being influenced by each other
Give each other space to grow in your relationship and educate each other. Small changes and showing that we take our partner’s advice and suggestions to heart increase the sense of mutual trust. Compromises are good for relationships.
Source: Gazeta

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