Quarrels, disputes and riots in cemeteries. For me, this day is also about reopening wounds

All Saints’ Day and All Saints’ Day, which falls on the first and second day of November, is very important to many Poles who pass on the tradition of visiting graves and praying for the dead from generation to generation. For many years, this date was associated primarily with remembering “over the graves” of people who are no longer with us. However, this has changed a bit over the years. Some people note that nowadays it is much more often a time of disputes and an annual “fashion show” in cemeteries. In addition, there is also an issue raised by one of our readers, which unfortunately is not talked about very loudly.

“On every side we experience visible signs and symbols of this holiday that remind us of the loss we have suffered.”

I have the impression that for some people, All Saints’ Day is no longer a day when the most important thing is to honor the memory of the dead, but more and more often an opportunity to engage in “grobing”, i.e. getting dressed up in front of family members who have not been seen for a long time, quarreling and gossiping. Not to mention the classic exchange of insults about the taste of people who bought this or that wreath or candle. With each passing year, I feel less and less inclined to participate in all this. However, apart from this, for me this day is also about reliving mourning and reopening the wounds after the loss of my beloved grandparents. This is an extremely difficult time of year for me.

Marta.

– On every side we experience visible signs and symbols of this holiday that remind us of the loss we have suffered. All we need to do is go shopping once a week to one of the large grocery stores, and candles appear there from the beginning of October and stay with us until mid-November. People talk about All Souls’ Day on TV, write on the Internet, talk to friends, and even at work with colleagues or with their boss. After all, you need to plan your days off – comments Jakub B. Bączek, mental trainer and adds:

It is not easy for those who have not yet gotten over the loss of their loved ones and those who have simply become lonely as a result of this loss. Depression resulting from this fact is becoming more and more common, especially among older people. An increasing part of society also admits to both loneliness and depression, and experts confirm that statistically it is during the holidays that we feel worse mentally, and there are much more suicide attempts than on other days of the year.

How to survive All Saints’ Day and All Souls’ Day?

After the loss of a loved one, the rituals associated with these days can be overwhelming for some people. During this time, it is important to listen to yourself, not do anything against your will, and if necessary, seek help. – It is important, first of all, to notice the danger of such a condition approaching. Many of us tend to deny, resulting from shame before admitting to our own problems, says Jakub B. Bączek.

Then you have to be a little selfish. What does it mean? If visiting the graves on a particular day overwhelms us, it is worth simply giving up on it. If reminiscing with family is too much of a challenge, it is worth telling your loved ones about it directly and not participating in it. If this is our need, let’s meet with a psychologist to get professional advice and support

– he adds.

Remember that taking care of your mental health is just as important as taking care of your physical health. You need help? Don’t be afraid to ask for it! You can get it 24 hours a day at these telephone numbers:

• 514 202 619 and 22 855 44 32 – emergency telephone number for people in difficult life situations
• 511 200 200 – telephone number for adults in suicide crisis
• 116 123 – Crisis Helpline
• 116 111 – helpline for children and young people

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