The bathroom after my husband’s visit looks like after a hurricane. Rolled towels are thrown on the washing machine (instead of hanging) or simply on the floor. When he washes his hands, he splashes water all over the place, so it’s just one big puddle on the floor. Of course, then he steps in it and there are muddy marks from the soles of the flip-flops. Everything would be fine if he wiped it off himself. He doesn’t even want to mention an unlowered seat, dirty toilet, etc.
At first, I persisted in my efforts, and every time he left the bathroom, I reminded him to clean up. But I couldn’t do it forever, and sometimes I’m not at home. My husband worked remotely for a long time, so when I came back from the office around 6 pm and stepped straight into the bathroom swamp, I was going to hell. So I cleaned up after him.
It’s the same with washing dishes. We currently have a cup-and-plate fortress in the sink and won’t lift a finger to do anything about it. I don’t want to keep reminding him about it, because from my perspective, if there is a dirt in a common space, the person who notices it first – just cleans it up. I don’t want to ask him to kindly wash what he himself has soiled!
Same problem with taking out the garbage. I noticed some time ago that he found a new “patent” – he simply puts the full bag behind the basket, at the back of the cabinet and takes out a new one. When I came back from a weekend at my sister’s, the cupboard was barely closing. It turned out that he had set up a landfill in our apartment. Behind the basket were three full sacks. I don’t know how he did it because the cupboard under the sink is not that big. It would use less energy to take out the garbage.
Keeping order has always been a priority for me, that’s how my parents raised me. But I wasn’t prepared for something like this…
Earlier, I just dismantled the “vascular fortresses”, took out the garbage, washed the floors, vacuumed, etc. I assumed that it would be faster and that I would be less nervous. Nothing more wrong! I lasted a month, having all the responsibilities related to running the house on my shoulders.
When I came back from an away conference, there was such a stench coming from the trash can that it made me dizzy. The cupboard was full of garbage from a week ago, half-eaten meat, leftover fish. Everything rotted. In a word: disgusting. I was about to empty the bin with suppressed anger when I realized I was actually doing a free cleaner. And I said “enough”.
I radically changed my strategy. Currently, we no longer have clean cups or plates. “Where are all the cups?” I heard recently. If I want to use one, I just wash one out of the sink – just for myself – and put it back, dirty. There are a total of three piles of laundry throughout the apartment. They’re on the floor. I don’t vacuum or mop the floors, so there are piles of dust everywhere. I’ve even learned to put up with the smell of the trash can.
My husband is just used to having someone else handle these things for him. It was his mother. It’s also not that he won’t clean up if I ask him to. But as I said, taking care of a house is the responsibility of two people! It shouldn’t be that only I really notice what needs to be done.
Before you advise me to attempt honest conversations, know that there have been hundreds of them. Each time he promised to improve, but nothing came of it.
My actions seem to have started to bring results, although probably not quite the way I wanted. On the laptop we share, I found used dishwashers in my browsing history. I wonder if my husband realizes that the dishes won’t magically move to her. I’m sure he’ll “burst” eventually and realize that cleaning is also his duty.
Oh well. Keep your fingers crossed for us!
Violetta
Source: Gazeta
Bruce is a talented author and journalist with a passion for entertainment . He currently works as a writer at the 247 News Agency, where he has established himself as a respected voice in the industry.
