“I take the phone in my hand and try to figure out what to do not to call. Fear paralyzes me”

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It takes just a few clicks to make an appointment with a hairdresser, beautician, order a pizza or book an appointment with a doctor. Just a few taps on the keyboard to send a message to friends or not to do it if you change your mind while typing. The Spanish magazine “El Pais” published research that shows that almost 80 percent. of 14- to 24-year-olds feel anxious at the thought of having to call someone. Telenophobia is the bane of our times.

“I rarely went to the hairdresser because I kept putting off calling for days”

For years, we have been feeding on quick messages. We write expressively and thoughtlessly, or on the contrary – carefully choosing each word. The most important thing, however, is that we do not have to speak and we have full control over communication. If we see a response that surprises us, we’ll pretend we didn’t see it and figure out what to reply back to. There would be this awkward silence during the conversation. Alexandra is well aware of this. He avoids calling whenever he can.

I don’t like calling strangers. It doesn’t matter whether it’s a hairdresser, a doctor or a travel agency consultant. There was a time when I rarely went to the hairdresser because I kept putting off calling for days. I was saved (and probably my hair) only by applications through which you can make an appointment for this type of service

– he tells. When asked what she thinks it means, she answers after a little thought.

I guess it’s some kind of fear of ridicule? It’s easier to communicate when you write, because then you have a chance to think more about how to express yourself, you don’t reveal yourself as much. I also feel better when I’m talking to someone live. Then I see how that someone reacts, and it is the person who sees my reactions and I get the impression that it is easier to get along because certain signals can be read faster

– explains. Natalia has similar thoughts.

I guess I have some trauma from the past with unpleasant interlocutors. It seems to me that when I called somewhere in the past, there were times when the other party was surly. Something so unpleasant… This way of communication seemed terribly difficult to me

– says.

He only chooses it when he wants to talk to people from work or family or friends. When she is about to call a stranger, she is paralyzed with fear.

I often put it off or try to figure out what to do not to call. Sometimes I use the method of jumping into deep water – I call right away to get it over with quickly. I get nervous during phone calls. I speak less fluently than in real life or when chatting with friends. I noticed that many of my peers feel the same way

he adds.

Martyna Lasota, M.Sc., a psychologist and psychotherapist, explains in an interview with woman.gazeta.pl that the fear of calling may result from the inability to talk on the phone.

The less we do an activity, the more anxious we feel at the thought of it. This is why it has been so difficult for many people to socialize after the pandemic. The younger generations are used to texting. They rarely use the phone to make calls and therefore they are afraid of it. They are not familiar with telephone conversations. Older people used phones only to make calls and they, in turn, when communicators appeared, they preferred to call rather than write – because they knew the first method of communication

– explains.