For 50 years, they’ve been observing relationships. It is not betrayal that is the most common cause of relationship breakdown

Jessica Griffin and Pepper Schwartz have devoted almost their entire lives to the study of relationships. For 50 years, they have been observing the marital relations of couples who have decided to undergo therapy. As a result, the researchers came up with some surprising conclusions. Regardless of the length of the relationship, Griffin and Schwartz identify the four most important issues that negatively affect any relationship.

They’ve been studying relationships for 50 years. Four things most often lead to a breakup

Jessica and Pepper single out four in communication that lead to a breakup.

1. Contempt
2. Criticism
3. defensiveness
4. Procrastination

What does each of them reveal? Mostly disrespect. Arguing, eye-rolling, ridiculing, criticizing the partner’s character, shifting blame, making excuses, ignoring and delaying the conversation about the problem. The key issue is how partners address each other and how much time they spend together. – In one laboratory study, after just 15 minutes, we were able to predict with 94 percent accuracy whether a marriage would last – the researchers.

Recipe for a successful relationship. What should we remember?

Dr. Jessica Griffin and Dr. Pepper Schwartz believe that attention is the foundation of a successful relationship. The couple should overcome problems together, not fight each other. A partner needs to feel appreciated, loved and noticed. Mutual smiling, physical contact and small gestures such as saying “good morning” and “good night” are very important. People in relationships should be open about their feelings and do small favors for each other. If you have a communication problem, researchers recommend making a list of 20 things you love about each other. “Read them aloud and challenge yourself,” say the women.

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