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Having a baby turns your life upside down. The results of CBOS research show that 13.6 percent. of people in Poland who have children regret their decision. This is mainly due to the fact that it is only after the birth of a child that we realize what parenthood entails. Despite this, women who consciously give up motherhood are stigmatized. Recently, one of the readers wrote a letter to the editor in which she confessed that she still hears that her life is not complete and that she is selfish because she does not see herself as a mother.
“I am 30 years old and I am not a mother. I hear that I am selfish and my life is not complete”
On the one hand, there is more and more talk about the fact that we have a choice and not every woman has to give birth to children. I really would like to believe that. I’m 30 years old and I’m not a mother. I hear that if I chose this way, then I’m selfish. Parenthood is a decision whose consequences accompany us throughout our lives. If you are not ready for them, you are told that your life is not complete. But how can it be full with a baby when I can barely afford the bills without it?
With the current costs, after paying rent and bills, I have PLN 1,000 to live on. This is not money that would guarantee a comfortable childhood for a child. I don’t get arguments like “it used to be worse, and I raised four children”. I don’t want to think about whether to buy my baby shoes or diapers. Spend the afternoon with him or leave them with Grandma and work a second job to support him.
Anyway, if we want to invoke the argument “once upon a time”, then “once” were different times. Families stuck together and helped each other. Now many women are on their own because their relatives have emigrated and work abroad. Sometimes even partners. In addition, the generation of our grandparents and parents could afford to buy a flat. Honestly? I don’t think I’ll ever be able to afford it with current real estate prices. And yet this sense of stability makes us decide to take this step. I can’t imagine a situation that I will give birth and I will not have a place to live because the owner of the apartment will terminate the contract. That I would have to wander from apartment to apartment. These situations happen too often not to think about them.
I really don’t know why bring another creature to an overpopulated world, knowing that it will not have a comfortable childhood. Is it really selfish? For me, selfishness is being afraid of what others will say and getting pregnant without thinking about the consequences.
I don’t want to be a frustrated mother. I’d rather be a childless 30-year-old who gets pregnant when she’s ready or never gets pregnant. I have the right to decide that.
Julia.
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Source: Gazeta
Bruce is a talented author and journalist with a passion for entertainment . He currently works as a writer at the 247 News Agency, where he has established himself as a respected voice in the industry.
