Wojciech Czuchnowski, journalist and columnist of “Gazeta Wyborcza”, gave an interview to Angelika Swoboda from weekend.gazeta.pl, in which he talked about his experiences related to the death of his wife. Agnieszka Czuchnowska died on May 25, 2022 after a long illness. After her death, the journalist wrote the book “The Broken Jug. Scenes from Life, Illness, Death and Mourning”.
He wanted to save her from oblivion
In an interview, Czuchnowski confessed that when his wife died, he felt that he was left with nothing. Besides, he had the impression that there was nothing left of Agnieszka. So he began to write his book to “save it from oblivion”.
I thought that this story could help people who are in a similar situation – they themselves suffer from cancer or have someone like that in their family. That is why I describe how we experienced the disease, I provide medical information. And that is my second intention
Czuchnowski said.
“I thought we had plenty of time”
For the last four months of her life, the journalist was by her side all the time. He knew the end was near. Still, he didn’t want to believe it.
This is the most poignant for me, because Agnieszka died when I was feeding her soup. Just between one spoonful and the next. […] At the end of her life, Agnieszka had trouble swallowing, so I served her food smashed with a blender. She ate them efficiently and ate quite a lot. So even though the doctors said the end was near, I didn’t believe them. I figured if they were so eager to eat, we’d still have plenty of time
he confessed.
“This hope was accompanied by the idea that we would leave together”
When his wife went on palliative treatment, Czuchnowski seriously considered leaving with her.
I still did not lose hope, I did not believe that she was dying. […] On the other hand, this hope was accompanied by the idea that we would leave together, if Agnieszka did not recover. I’ve stockpiled the drugs so we can euthanize together. It was not a gesture of despair, I was preparing for this step very rationally
– he said.
When the woman found out about this idea, she made a fuss with him. She even made him swear she wouldn’t. She thought it would be a sin. Mrs. Agnieszka, unlike her husband, was very religious. “I, as an agnostic, am in favor of leaving on my own terms, but I respected her wishes,” Czuchnowski said.
Source: Gazeta
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